Memorial Day Camping Trip, 2012 Style

This weekend we are going camping up at Frog Pond Basin. I know, I have said every year for the last 10 years that I will never ever camp on even one more rainy memorial day weekend, but folks, I was out voted, out classed, and out of my league. My 9 year old child pleaded with me to go... and even though part of me wants to go to T. Falls to visit my family, the other part of me knows that someday I would have looked back and felt a huge twinge of guilt that I turned my little girl down when she wanted me to go camping with her.

At this point, I am even looking forward to it. Even if it pours the whole weekend, we can hide away in our cozy little campers and stay warm.

The kids both made their own packing lists this year. Kloe made hers on Monday, mentally preparing well in advance for a camping trip that rates HIGH on her fun scale (seriously, it rated a 40, the highest score... check out her graph on her list!).

Pocket nifes and stuffed animals: crucial to camping when you are 9... but apparently no there is no need for extravagant packing of too many clothes.  As for a swimming suit during May camping in Montana, that is the stuff dreams are made of.

Derrin's packing list, however, reflects the thoughtfulness of a well organized 11 year old. Next year's list will also include a PowerPoint presentation. :)

Also dreaming of swimming weather during May in Montana.  Ah, my babies.  Someday they will understand that the reason I love camping during July and August is I want to pack my swimsuit too!! :)

They are all heading out tomorrow. I am waiting until Friday afternoon to ride up with Chatelle and Sabrina, cuz I have stuffs to do on Thursday. Anyways, here is to making some good memories.

Randomosity

1.  I've rediscovered Kate Bush.  I'd forgotten I had even ever known about her, for crying out loud, and her music exemplifies my favorite style of music; haunting, storytelling lyrics and wistful female lead vocals.  My point is, happy rediscovery!!!

2.  I've started running with pepper spray in hand.  HA!  Take that mountain lions, giant Runner-Devouring-German-Shepards,  and wanna be kidnappers.  Not that I've ever seen any of you (except for rogue dogs), but I know you've been hiding behind trees, just waiting to chew on my legs.  Hope you remember to stand still enough for me to squirt my spray in your eyeball.

 3.  There have been some "driving issues", of a demoralizing nature.  I started Monday off with a "BANG".  One minute I was just driving along, enjoying the morning sun which was almost blindingly bright light, and the next thing I know I'm flying full speed up over a curb that I didn't even see.  The road out there is pretty wide except for one spot that gets very narrow with a curb that juts out into the road as a defining feature of a crosswalk.  I've always hated that spot.  Shaken up, I got out to see the damage.  A guy stopped from his morning walk just to shout "TWO FLATS!!!"  Well, thank you for your caring observation, Mr. Walking Man.  So thankful for that useful information.  But really, I am okay. I can tell you are so worried as you scurry away with your good samaritan observation of the day checked off of your list. Glad I could help with that.

So, two flat tires.  Turns out my insurance covers towing.  The tow truck driver was very fun to talk to on the way to Les Schwab.  Hanging out with him, hearing his story of what it's like to be a tow truck driver, was the best part of the experience. 

Derrick was in a meeting seeing if he would be chosen for jury duty, so getting a hold of him was impossible until much later.  He was eventually dismissed just in time to decide that instead of two new snow tires, we'd go ahead and put regular tires on for Spring.  Then he took me out to breakfast/lunch, since this whole thing had started at 8:30 in the morning and I hadn't even had breakfast yet (noon and I was still wearing my pajamas, although they passed for regular clothes pretty well).  Between the new Spring tires and an eventual wheel replacement as well as two new winter tires, my little mistake turned costly.

4.  Add me to the list of people that the IRS likes to stress out.  That's all I'm gonna say about that one.

5.  Went to Thompson Falls last weekend and got to see my family and friends there.  Talked to Dad about eventually growing a lot of potatoes and organic food on his land.  This seems like a good idea because...

6.  ...we now are proud receivers of Netflicks, which includes a lot of instant movies and shows we can get off of our wii console, and this means a whole new world of DOCUMENTARY access has opened up to us.  I am GEEKING out.  Friday night (the night before the discussion with my dad about growing potatoes and organic food) I had the house to myself, so first I watched a documentary about "The Moment of Death", and then I watched one about the Solitary Confinement and the psychological consequences it induces, and continuing onward with my dark theme, we (Derrick was home for the last one) watched one called "Collapse" about the co-relation between oil and the world's economy, and how worldwide famine will soon be a reality (no problem believing that).  Needless to say, I started the weekend off with a macabre frame of mind. The weekend with my family, the Watchtower lesson at meeting on Sunday about the power Jehovah supplies through holy spirit (SUCH a good article!) and then the car issues on Monday helped bring me back to the present.  Still want to plant the potatoes and organic vegetables though, but more for the love of gardening and healthy food than for mass food storage.

7.  My kids would rather be inside, than out in the sun.  What's up with THAT?  I almost feel like re-messing up their rooms so I could tell them the choice is either clean their room or go outside.  Spring Break starts tomorrow.  I see I will need to come up with a threatening list of chores to point to any time they start giving me a hard time about going outside.

Decisions Decisions....

“Whatever you don’t like, change.  It’s the beauty of being human.  We get to change our minds.  We get to choose again.  And we know how to laugh.”- Lois Levy

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else."- Ralph Waldo Emerson 


"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."  Arnold Bennett

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." Maya Angelou

"We can change our lives.  We can do, have and be exactly what we wish." Tony Robbins


Change is scary for me (and probably for most people).  Sometimes you have no say in the matter; life changes completely without your permission.  Other times there is choice involved.  The thing is, it can be hard to decide when you need to change things.  It's hard to tell if that little nagging voice in the back of your head needs to be heeded or hushed up.  I have a hard time letting myself quit, whether it's a project, a relationship, a job, or anything I've been giving my attention to.  It isn't so much stubbornness, as a general distrust of my own feelings.  Am I just tired of whatever I'm thinking of quitting?  Am I going to regret my choice when a little bit of time has passed?  Am I being lazy?  Do my feelings of wanting to quit have any validity?


What I know is that we are all the creators of our own reality.  Right now my reality does not feel like what I want to choose.  I want to have a positive attitude and really I am doing okay in that department, all things considered.  But I feel like I need to change some things.  Anyways, I am planning on taking action and setting some of those changes in motion.  Nothing immediate... just setting the groundwork for later.  As long as I can see things changing in the future, I can make it through the days feeling more in control.

Pros:

• To spend the kid's summer vacation with them- spend more time playing.
• To be able to spend more time with my sister, dad, steph, tara and david, friends, and to have  the freedom to do so.
• To be able to spend more time camping and making memories with my husband and family.  
• To be able to be at home on days when I can not deal with people and I'm feeling too fragile.
• Easier to schedule service.
• Easier to schedule running
• Tired of dealing with cranky people (of the grown-up variety)
• More time to pursue photography, art and making jewelry, and writing.

Cons:

• Will need to find another way to make money, or make due with less- although this may interfere any of the fun stuff that requires money.
• Won't be forced to deal with people as much (which is actually a good thing for me).
• Will need to force myself to be scheduled without being on someone else's schedule.
• The chances of finding a place to work where I like the people (fellow employees anyways), where they are so kind about my schedule, and where they pay as decently, are pretty slim.

~Creative Negativity~

• I hate snow. Anomosity between myself and snow is not unusual.
• I hate rain. There is no love lost between myself and rain.
• I hate winter. I find winter to be an abomination.
• I hate being cold. I loathe being cold.
• I hate gray skies.  I find gray skies to be repulsive.
• I hate that it's only half way through December.  I deplore that it's only half way through December.
• I hate my inability to hibernate. I object to my inabilty to hibernate.
• I hate the wet, slushy/slippery roads outside that make my treadmill a necessity.  I'm disgusted by the wet, slushy/slippery roads that make my treadmill a necessity.
• I hate my treadmill.  I harbor wicked thoughts toward my treadmill.
• I (still) hate sharing the road (especially in winter) with other drivers. It grieves me to share winter roads with other drivers.
• I hate that last weekend is over.  I'm bitter that last weekend is over.

No one can bring you peace but yourself. -Emerson

I feel bad today.  I've felt bad  off and on this week. I've tried to think of what anyone else could say or do that would make me feel better, and there just isn't anything.  I can't even define the feeling.  It's a mix between:

sad

adj. sad·der, sad·dest

1. Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.

2. Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.

3. Causing sorrow or gloom; depressing: a sad movie; sad news.

4. Deplorable; sorry: a sad state of affairs; a sad excuse.

5. Dark-hued; somber.

need·y

adj. need·i·er, need·i·est

1. Being in need; impoverished.

2. Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree.

rest·less

adj.1. Marked by a lack of quiet, repose, or rest: spent a restless night.

2. Not able to rest, relax, or be still: a restless child.

3. Never still or motionless: the restless sea..

an·gry

adj. an·gri·er, an·gri·est

1. Feeling or showing anger; incensed or enraged: angry at a rude neighbor; angry with a salesclerk.

2. Indicative of or resulting from anger: an angry silence.

3. Having a menacing aspect; threatening: angry clouds on the horizon.

4. Chiefly New England & Midland U.S. Inflamed and painful: an angry sore.

In Response to the above feelings, I am now going to think of:

Things that make me feel good-

cook·ies also cook·ys  (kk)

n. pl. cook·ies

A small, usually flat and crisp cake made from sweetened dough.

choc·o·late  (chôk-lt, chôklt, chk-)

n.Fermented, roasted, shelled, and ground cacao seeds, often combined with a sweetener or flavoring agent.

My kids (MI kds)

n.a. My children.

b. MY young persons.

Slang Pal. Used as a term of familiar address, especially for a young person: Hi, kids! What's up?

run·ning  (rnng)

n.1. The act or an instance of running.

2. The power or ability to run.

3. Sports The exercise or sport of someone who runs.

shop·ping

v.intr.

1. To visit stores in search of merchandise or bargains.

2. To look for something with the intention of acquiring it.

trav·el  (trvl)

v. To go from one place to another, as on a trip; journey.

pho·tog·ra·phy  (f-tgr-f)

n.1. The art or process of producing images of objects on photosensitive surfaces.

2. The art, practice, or occupation of taking and printing photographs.

3. A body of photographs.

friends  (frnds)

n.1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

What a "Green Drink" Does That Makes It Worth Drinking.....

...even though "some" people (i.e. Derrin and Kloe) say it looks icky and tastes funny....

I blend this stuff all together every morning and chug it down.  It is worth it! My energy is so much better on days I do this, my skin feels nicer, I can run better, think better.... my emotions are nicer...:)  Highly recommended.... (thanks heather, for telling me about this...)

Ingrediants

 Kale: http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Kale
Unusually high in fiber, excellent for vitamin A, C, and B6, Calcium, potassium, folate, antioxidants, fights cancer and heart disease

Carrots: http://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/vegetable/health-benefits-of-carrot.html

Helps with blood sugar regulation, great for fighting cancers, helps vision, great source of fiber...

 Blueberries:  http://www.womenfitness.net/blueberries.htm

Blueberries ROCK.  Not only do they taste good, but they aid in fighting infections, fight colon cancer (and many other forms of cancer),  fight belly fat (*!* just found that out), fight heart disease....
cranberries:  http://www.suite101.com/content/the-health-benefits-of-cranberries-a40863
fights infections (of course), fights bad cholesterol raises the good kind, fights both heart disease and cancer, helps with digestion...
bananas: http://bananasweb.com/bananas/Health+Benefits+of+Bananas

Immediate and slightly prolonged source of energy, improved mood, relatively high in iron, fiber, Eyesight Protection, Healthy Bones, highly protective to kidney health, prevents high blood pressure, Bananas are high in B vitamins that have been shows to improve nerve function.
Many people report that rubbing the inside of a banana peel on a mosquito bite is very effective in reducing itching and swelling. (*!* just had to include this because it's AWESOME)

My New Winter Goals

Every fall, before winter falls around my shoulders again, I like to make a new list of goals- a Survival Guide if you will.  Last year I focused mainly on running, and I'm happy to say I actually stuck with it and it helped greatly.  I've been through a lot this year, and one of the benefits from all the turmoil (a dramatic word, but oh-so-accurate), is that it has given me plenty of time to pause and contemplate what I need in my life.  Hopefully my follow-through on this years list will be as good as last year (although my list is quite a bit longer).
Spiritual
1. Improve my prayers.
2.Service twice a week- Wednesday and Saturday mornings.  16 hours a month... better recordings of return visits.
3.  Meeting attendance... go whether I feel like being around people or not, no excuses unless I'm bleeding out of my ears.
4.Use Thursday after work as time to study better for that night's meeting.  Help the kids prepare an answer for bible reading.
5. Really read my bible every day- even if it's just a couple of verses.
6.Invite friends from our congregation(and not just the family kind) over for dinner at LEAST twice a month... quit being a chicken about having company.
 Physical
1.  Continue running- get back to 3-4 times a week.  Aim for m, t, f 4 miles each and 6 miles on either weekend day- 18 miles total.
2.  Continue green drinks daily.
3.  Buy more vitamins!!! Take daily!
Financial
1.  Make an arrangement to completely pay off our credit cards.  Financial freedom!!! Down with credit card slavery!!!
2. Continue to put money into savings every pay day.  Then don't spend it.
3. Start a separate savings account just for travel.  Start to save for the Europe dream trip that WILL happen someday.
 Art & Photography & All Projects
1. Do one photography project a week and post some pics in here.
2. Finish the paintings I started last winter before I start any new ones this winter!!!
3. Make the necklaces with the beads that Renae and I bought in Canada this summer (with Renae!)
4. Strip my end tables and stain them black so they FINALLY match my coffee table!  Buy the glass for the top of the coffee table.
5. Strip Kloe's dresser and paint it and her lizard's stand.
6. Paint my bathroom using fuex(fuax? Foe? I think I'm getting farther away from correctness) techniques Lyns and I are gonna learn this weekend!!!
Relationships
1. Keep in better contact with my friends and family.  Phone calls, emails, cards... so they know I love them, because I so do!!! NO MORE HERMIT TENDENCIES.  Winter or not- I MUST keep in contact with friends.  No disappearing.  I am not a bear.
2. Buy Derrick more gifts... do things for him that I like when he does for me:)
3. Play with my kids more.
4. Be more proactive in relationships- make the first move more.
5. Stop sweating the small stuff in relationships, and also the stuff I can not change.  Dwell on the positive, not the negative.

Things My Daughter Has Taught Me

My daughter, who is in kindergarden, has been bringing home little books lately. They are little books that she has authored especially for me. They cover various subjects such as our cat Anikan, our family, rainbows, flowers, fish, lizards and horses. She gives them to me as gifts, and they are precious.



After I get to look at them, she takes them from me and puts them on my bookshelf. They are books, after all, so they go on the shelf with all of my favorite books. She didn't ask me, she didn't wonder if her books belonged there. She KNEW. And guess what. She was RIGHT. They happen to be my new most favorite books.



My little beautiful 6 year old daughter is on to some lessons that I may have lost along the the way. Here are few that I have observed:



1. Creativity starts at step 1, not step 100. Go with it. If you want to be a writer, who cares if you don't know how to spell. Use the letters you know.



2. Give your art and poems away with love and gusto. Even when you know it's not perfect. It is perfect in it's imperfection.



3. Make sure you have lots of crayons and markers and paper. You can't create your art if you don't have the materials.



4. When you give your art or writings to the recipient, always let them know you were thinking of them during the creative process. It really does mean a lot.



5. Make sure you surround yourself with people who believe in you. Start with Mom.

Disgruntled on a Wednesday

On the way to work today, I realized I was in a far worse mood than usual. So, as I crept along on 39th Street traffic, I jotted down the top three things that had managed to aggravate me this morning the most:

1. The magazines displayed for everyone to see as they walk through the line at Safeway (or any other food store). Especially the ones shouting out "THE BEST AND WORST BODIES OF THE SUMMER", in which they show a perky, tanned and toned 16 year old girl in a bikini right next to a much older woman who may or may not have the best body ever. It makes me SO angry that they display this trash right where everyone in the world passes by (assuming you need to buy food to eat), trying to brainwash us all about what feminine beauty should look like. I don't need that!!! I don't think ANY woman needs to be force fed this absolute garbage. Most of us struggle with some level of body image as it is. It especially hurts me when I have my children in line with me. I don't want my daughter OR son to look at these magazines. My beautiful little daughter is only 6 years old, and already she has expressed worry over whether a certain pair of pants makes her look "fat". She already feels the pressure of this world's commercial monster, trying to make girls and women feel like we have to be perfect to be acceptable. And why do they want to make us feel that way? The next natural step is to spend money on the products that will make us feel pretty. *sigh*

2. The media in general. I hate how they make gods out of regular people. I hate how they set people up high and then gather around to feast on the very same people during hard times. I hate their "hard hitting reports" where they expose whatever and demonize people to the public, only to make the same people seem like absolute angels when they die.

We haven't had satellite for almost two months now- we pretty much only watch PBS- and STILL we had to hear about Michael Jackson every time we turned on the television. He was a great musician and artist and it is sad that he died, but I DON'T KNOW HIM or any other celebrity who dies. Why should his death receive so much more attention from all of us than any other mortal? *sigh*

3. Traffic on 39th Street. I have to drive this road every day to work, and inevitably I get stuck behind someone who wants to play it "safe" by driving 15 miles per hour in a 35 per hour speed limit. Last week it was this guy on a cute little motorcycle. I really had to resist the urge to push him along faster with my car. *sigh*

Anyways, thanks for reading my list. I feel a little better now.

25 random things

1. My favorite books gowing up were the Chronicles of Narnia.

2. I have three diaries going at any given time (AND they are pretty ones....)

3. I believe with all my heart that if you focus on ANYTHING for long enough, it will come true, so you better be careful about what you focus on!!

4. I find people incredibly interesting. If you are someone I am in touch with (like we actually see eachother face to face sometimes), dang it, I MISS you! What is UP?:)

5. I want to go to Europe someday, somehow.

6. I love to write, whether it's my diary, a list, or a short story. I'm trying to blog regularly again.

7. I am really REALLY hard on myself about anything that matters to me.

7.5. I am an obsessive editor of anything I write.

8. My dream is to live in Zihuatanejo Mexico during the winter and Montana during the summer.

9. I still want to learn Spanish.

10. I love my little nephew and my great neice with all my heart, and I wish I could be part of both their daily existance.

11. I hope to live forever .

12. I worry a lot about my parents.

13. I wish I was more of a thinker and less of a feeler.

14. I regret filling this thing out at three in the morning when my brain's not so good.

15. I love to be around happy, positive people, because it helps to fight the darker side of myself.

16. I wish I could be have close relationships with all my siblings.  I am SO grateful and fortunate to have my sister.

17. One of the reasons that I love wedding photography so much is that I am able to capture the ideal version of love and romance that I have tucked away in my mind.

18. My goal is always; has always been: moderation and inner peace.

19. I am always amazed I have the privledge of being MOM to such beautiful and smart people.

20. If I love something, like a shirt or a restaurant, I will suck every bit of pleasure and joy out of that shirt or restaurant that I can, until I can never wear it or eat that food again. the end. Not moderate at all about ANY thing.

21. Sometimes my husband's moderation can frustrate me. I can never tell if he is frustating my dreams or making them real until the end results. Usually he is making them real. (note: I knew I would be editing in here:) When I wrote this I was irritated because we were in such a moment of him "helping" me rein in my enthusiasm about something. BUT, I have to say it, one of the main reasons I married him is that he is such a smart realist, and I totally respect and love that about him. And mostly he loves my enthusiasm about things because it helps him to lighten up a bit... )

22. I am not a great artist, but I like to paint. I am as excited about painting a picture nowadays as I was when I was in 2nd grade.

23. I LOVE jewel tones.

24. My kitchen ended up golden rod yellow one day.

25. My living room is going to be dark blue and green, starting next week...

.

Things you should not do.

1. Okay, as this is the SECOND time I am going to write this, I will say the number one thing you should NOT do is just assume when you hit the post button at the bottom of your blog that it will actually post your blog. Most likely you will get a blank screen and the inability to go back to anything you have just typed...

2. Something I learned last night- You should NOT put the inner sanctum of your crock pot on a stove burner thinking it should be heat safe since it handles boiling soup for hours at a time. It is simply not so.

3. You should NEVER go to CostCo at 5 or 6 at night thinking you will actually find a parking place. You are in for some big ol' disappointment right about then.

4. Never expect to write anything or send an email at the local library's internet cafe. For one, the internet connection is at a bare crawl maximum, probably designed to discourage loitering from the local weirdos. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working. Because for two, all of the local weirdos are there for one reason: To stare at YOU, their new victim to steal an identity from or just plain murder.

5. Never throw the cat in the garage at three in the morning because he won't stop biting you and waking up the kids. If you do, just make sure to put the litter box out too.

6. Back to the library- never think you can read one of the cool magazines they have just laying around there. This one is tricky and unexpected because even though they have the cushy leather chairs there, just begging you to sit in them to read the magazine, they also have the previously mentioned weirdos. One of who is going to sit in the chair next to you. And he will have terets. And he will hurt insults at your mother and discuss bodily functions in a random non-direct manner. And you will feel compelled to sit there for at least ten minutes because you don't want to hurt his feelings by leaving.

7. You should NEVER eat all of the marshmallows out of the bag of Marshmallow Maities (the cheap version of lucky charms). You will feel sick. Your children will hate you at breakfast the next morning when they are eatting their plain ol' Maities.

8. After not ice-skating for at least ten years or so, you should not decide after ten minutes of re-breaking in time that you are indeed the ice-skating viturtuoso that you've always suspected you were. You really shouldn't decide that it is time for speed skating around the rink before you have fully remembered how to use the toe pick. And you should not do all of this with your much loved camera hanging around your neck. To do so will mean that you will have to sacrifice your body to save the camera when the toe pick will catch you off gaurd (as was inevitable), while you are going around the sharper corner of the ring. Pure mangling of the said body will result. On the brighter side of this, you will meet new friends as fellow skaters crouch around you to see if you still have a pulse.

Tagged

Here are the rules: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog.

1. I am obsessive about brushing my teeth. I have NO cavities though:-)

2. I also am obsessive about my feet. I keep them all loofahed, lotioned and polished all year round, even during boot weather.

3. I hate green beans. Not too interesting, but very true.

4. I have a serious coffee addiction. Unfortunately, coffee also starts to make me have scary heart palpatations after consuming too much of it for several months in a row. Therefore, I have to go off of coffee a couple months out of every year. This seems to make it possible to consume coffee symptom-free for the rest of the time. I am in a time-out right now (going on a month):-( Herbal tea is a good substitute however.

5. My Dad is from a familyof 14 kids and my Mom from a family of 6. Between all of the offspring from those families, I have hundreds of cousins.

6. I was the only girl in my class until 6th grade. The school I went to was in Paradise.

7. I have an interest in the numbers 3, 11, and 13. I was born 3-11-76 (and 7+6=13), I graduated in 94 (9+4=13), my mailing address as a kid was Box 113, I have 13 letters between my first and last name, and all of the houses I've lived in in Missoula were numbered either 3 or their numbers add up to 13... I know, you can make anything equal something if you look hard enough.

8. I LOVE black licorish. It's even better than chocolate.

9. I do not like most dogs. They are slobbery and jump on me. But if you have a dog and you are my friend, I will make every effort to adore your dog.

10. I am genetically unable to roll my tongue, and I am not double-jointed. There you go!

Hmmm. As far as tagging anyone else, most of the people I would have already been tagged or have done their list soooo.... I will just say if you are feeling creative and have some weird facts to share, go ahead!