I haven't blogged about my mom for quite awhile because things felt like they were going better, and I don't want to be obsessive about my mother's health on myspace of all places. BUT, since almost everyone who reads this knows her, I think I am going to vent a little.
I am worried. Her cancer count went from 800 to almost 1600 in just a two week break from the chemo. Even though her doctor has re-added the CPT-11 (the stuff that put her in the hospital when I was in Mexico, but also the stuff that was totally kicking the cancer's butt at first) and she has had two treatments with that stuff too, her cancer count has only dropped a little. Then today she couldn't get her treatment again because the chemo is starting to give her all of the side affects that sent her to the hospital last time. The doctor is talking about changing things up, perhaps by doing the surgery on her liver to remove the tumor even though the count isn't as low as he wanted (he wanted it as low as 37).
I am also scared because I've been going into different internet sites where people with stage 4 colon cancer tell their experiences. Even the good experiences (people who are still alive after 3 or more years) are daunting. The chemo never seems to really end. They get chemo, have surgery, are cancer free for three or four months and then discover the cancer has spread again and have to start the whole thing over again. It burst my bubble. My vision has always been Mom gets chemo, gets the surgery, gets the final bout of chemo to finish off the stragler cancer cells, and then we all go into our happy cancer-free family again. I can't stand the thought of Mom having to go through this process over and over, never really feeling totally like herself again.
Anyways, those are my thoughts on the matter. Having a positive attitude is still important. Other people's experiences do not mean our's have to be that way. Just feeling scared right now.
I am worried. Her cancer count went from 800 to almost 1600 in just a two week break from the chemo. Even though her doctor has re-added the CPT-11 (the stuff that put her in the hospital when I was in Mexico, but also the stuff that was totally kicking the cancer's butt at first) and she has had two treatments with that stuff too, her cancer count has only dropped a little. Then today she couldn't get her treatment again because the chemo is starting to give her all of the side affects that sent her to the hospital last time. The doctor is talking about changing things up, perhaps by doing the surgery on her liver to remove the tumor even though the count isn't as low as he wanted (he wanted it as low as 37).
I am also scared because I've been going into different internet sites where people with stage 4 colon cancer tell their experiences. Even the good experiences (people who are still alive after 3 or more years) are daunting. The chemo never seems to really end. They get chemo, have surgery, are cancer free for three or four months and then discover the cancer has spread again and have to start the whole thing over again. It burst my bubble. My vision has always been Mom gets chemo, gets the surgery, gets the final bout of chemo to finish off the stragler cancer cells, and then we all go into our happy cancer-free family again. I can't stand the thought of Mom having to go through this process over and over, never really feeling totally like herself again.
Anyways, those are my thoughts on the matter. Having a positive attitude is still important. Other people's experiences do not mean our's have to be that way. Just feeling scared right now.
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