Dreams, Ponderings, and Happenings

I had a dream last night that I was in Paradise, and had just learned that an old building had collapsed there, killing many people. It was an old hotel that had always been there (in real life the hotel had burnt down (?) decades before I was even born- I'd only heard about it's existence from my mom and played on the rubble of it's old foundation). In my dream, Renae and I went to search through part of the hotel that still remained. I looked in a cupboard, and found a stack of journals. I opened one after another, and realized that they were my mom's. I started crying, because I had always known that there had to be something somewhere with all of her thoughts written down. It was such a vivid dream. It's funny how most of my most intense dreams always take place in Paradise.

Old Hotel in Paradise, winter of 1955- picture posted on facebook by my cousin in
2011-it was fun to see, as I had heard about it my whole life, but had never seen it.

Mom was on my mind this morning.  I go to a class called bodyflow every Friday, and on one of the "letting go" stretch exercises, the instructor plays a song called "Still Here" by Natasha Bedingfield.  I'm already pretty relaxed from all the the stretches and songs before that one, so that particular song hits me particularly hard.  But I do love it.

On a completely different note, I want to talk about my son.  This morning I was up early, sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee.  When 7:20 rolled around, I heard Derrin's alarm go off.  He got up, and crept over to Kloe's room, and in the sweetest voice whispered,"Kloe, it's time to get up, okay?"  The kindness in his voice moved me.  At meeting the other night, Kloe was freezing to death.  Derrin took off his suit jacket and gave it to her, which also completely moved me.  I know that my kids fight like little cats and dogs, as only siblings can, but there are moments when I get a glimpse of what their relationship might be like in the future, and it makes me so happy.  I want them to be close friends as they grow up, and always have each other's back.  That is one of my biggest hopes for my kiddos.

The kids have been having so many field trips for school that it's been hard to keep up.  This week Kloe went swimming with her class (which Derrick when to) and then a nature hike (which I went on).  Derrin went on a trip with his band class, and then he went to the school he will be attending next year for 6th grade.  He seems excited about his new school.  He said that he will be able to take a semester of Spanish, so he is jacked about that.

explaining what art she created with the materials she found in the woods. 

her "nature art" project

on our field trip

drawing the bug her team found

natural face paint

painted girl

We survived last weekends camping trip. It was as dire as I predicted, but I have to say I had a good time. Probably a better time than most of the other campers there, because I had not harbored any hopes that the weather would be other than it was:)

Our assembly is next weekend, so the kids will be getting out of school on Wednesday for the summer (two days early) so we can take off to Billings.  Summer has arrived for real!!

Dream Coach

I've been having the nigglings of guilt for the last week or so at my lame-ness at consistent blogging.  I am just not that great at consistency in ANY area of my life.  It is always a big part of any goal I make for myself to strive for consistency.  Unfortunately my lack of consistency (ironically) has also leaked over into my goal of consistency.

One of my greatest wishes for myself is that of a life coach.  My life coach would be one tough dude.  Man would I hate him- which is why he would need to be a paid employee because that way the choice of following his orders would still be mine.  He would be barking at me from 6:30 in the morning to get UP to write and read and do anything else that requires quiet time.   Then he would run beside me, rain or shine or snow, and he'd be making me run so much harder than I do by myself.  He would keep tighter tabs of my bank account, and really make me sit down and logically figure out where my dollars should be going.  He would sit down with me and make me figure out menus for my family and then find the best ingredients for the best prices.  He would make me work on my assertiveness by making me stand up to HIM, because after standing up to scary HIM everyone else would look like kittens.  He would make me sit down and make a business plan for myself and then make me actually follow through with every intimidating idea.  He would be tapping his toe impatiently, making me hurry up to be on time for any appointments I make and not letting me back out of anything, even if I am feeling wimpy because we are living through the-winter-that-never-ends.  He wouldn't care if I was struggling; he'd be HEARTLESS and just make me do what needs to get done.

Okay, whatever... not gonna be getting a life coach any time soon.  Spring will soon be here, and I will once again just feel like  doing most of the stuff I wish someone would make me do.  I still won't be perfectly consistent, but it'll be enough to keep the momentum needed to make me happy... well in some of the above mentioned areas anyway.  I am thinking I really do need help in some of the areas... maybe a class in self-assertiveness?  *sigh*  Something to think about anyways.