It is Friday night, exactly 8:24pm (according to my computer )and I find myself (again) in the situation of a quiet house. So seldom does this happen that it requires documentation in the form of a blog.
The kids are in bed. Derrick is gone for too many days to think about comfortably. I am listening to Sarah McLachlan. The house is SPOTLESS... the reason being that I feel out of control when Derrick has to work elsewhere so I gain back my sense of control by being super-vigilant about cleaning, mopping, sorting, arranging, organising, dusting, vacuuming, washing every inch of my house. Even the kids rooms got a good going-through today by both myself AND the child-owner of the said room (I'm sure they will need some therapy in their 30's to understand the OCD I have created in them). Even this blog is snatching a little bit of control out of the air. So far I have googled at least four of the words I have chosen to use, and according to google I was CORRECT in my spelling. I am cool and in control of my word spelling AND usage (okay, the word "usage" fouled me up because I REALLY wanted to spell it ussage...)
ANYWAYS, it is Friday night and part of me is reveling in the fact that it is so early in the evening and for at least the next three or four hours I OWN this time. I have to say that again. I OWN the next three or four hours. Even though I need to stay at home, I can choose to either play on the internet as long as I would like too, OR read (I have a really good book I am reading right now), OR I can take a bath, OR I can call someone, OR I can watch television, OR I can do nothing but sit on the back porch and breath the forest-fire smoke and look at the bright pink smoke-created sunset. All interruption free.
The point is I have the choice and there is no one here to look disappovingly at me for being a total bum. How awesome is that. Not that I don't cherish the time with my family but sometimes it feels so GOOOOD to just be Rachel.
The kids are in bed. Derrick is gone for too many days to think about comfortably. I am listening to Sarah McLachlan. The house is SPOTLESS... the reason being that I feel out of control when Derrick has to work elsewhere so I gain back my sense of control by being super-vigilant about cleaning, mopping, sorting, arranging, organising, dusting, vacuuming, washing every inch of my house. Even the kids rooms got a good going-through today by both myself AND the child-owner of the said room (I'm sure they will need some therapy in their 30's to understand the OCD I have created in them). Even this blog is snatching a little bit of control out of the air. So far I have googled at least four of the words I have chosen to use, and according to google I was CORRECT in my spelling. I am cool and in control of my word spelling AND usage (okay, the word "usage" fouled me up because I REALLY wanted to spell it ussage...)
ANYWAYS, it is Friday night and part of me is reveling in the fact that it is so early in the evening and for at least the next three or four hours I OWN this time. I have to say that again. I OWN the next three or four hours. Even though I need to stay at home, I can choose to either play on the internet as long as I would like too, OR read (I have a really good book I am reading right now), OR I can take a bath, OR I can call someone, OR I can watch television, OR I can do nothing but sit on the back porch and breath the forest-fire smoke and look at the bright pink smoke-created sunset. All interruption free.
The point is I have the choice and there is no one here to look disappovingly at me for being a total bum. How awesome is that. Not that I don't cherish the time with my family but sometimes it feels so GOOOOD to just be Rachel.
No comments:
Post a Comment