July 8, 2009

Disgruntled on a Wednesday

On the way to work today, I realized I was in a far worse mood than usual. So, as I crept along on 39th Street traffic, I jotted down the top three things that had managed to aggravate me this morning the most:

1. The magazines displayed for everyone to see as they walk through the line at Safeway (or any other food store). Especially the ones shouting out "THE BEST AND WORST BODIES OF THE SUMMER", in which they show a perky, tanned and toned 16 year old girl in a bikini right next to a much older woman who may or may not have the best body ever. It makes me SO angry that they display this trash right where everyone in the world passes by (assuming you need to buy food to eat), trying to brainwash us all about what feminine beauty should look like. I don't need that!!! I don't think ANY woman needs to be force fed this absolute garbage. Most of us struggle with some level of body image as it is. It especially hurts me when I have my children in line with me. I don't want my daughter OR son to look at these magazines. My beautiful little daughter is only 6 years old, and already she has expressed worry over whether a certain pair of pants makes her look "fat". She already feels the pressure of this world's commercial monster, trying to make girls and women feel like we have to be perfect to be acceptable. And why do they want to make us feel that way? The next natural step is to spend money on the products that will make us feel pretty. *sigh*

2. The media in general. I hate how they make gods out of regular people. I hate how they set people up high and then gather around to feast on the very same people during hard times. I hate their "hard hitting reports" where they expose whatever and demonize people to the public, only to make the same people seem like absolute angels when they die.

We haven't had satellite for almost two months now- we pretty much only watch PBS- and STILL we had to hear about Michael Jackson every time we turned on the television. He was a great musician and artist and it is sad that he died, but I DON'T KNOW HIM or any other celebrity who dies. Why should his death receive so much more attention from all of us than any other mortal? *sigh*

3. Traffic on 39th Street. I have to drive this road every day to work, and inevitably I get stuck behind someone who wants to play it "safe" by driving 15 miles per hour in a 35 per hour speed limit. Last week it was this guy on a cute little motorcycle. I really had to resist the urge to push him along faster with my car. *sigh*

Anyways, thanks for reading my list. I feel a little better now.

25 random things

1. My favorite books gowing up were the Chronicles of Narnia.

2. I have three diaries going at any given time (AND they are pretty ones....)

3. I believe with all my heart that if you focus on ANYTHING for long enough, it will come true, so you better be careful about what you focus on!!

4. I find people incredibly interesting. If you are someone I am in touch with (like we actually see eachother face to face sometimes), dang it, I MISS you! What is UP?:)

5. I want to go to Europe someday, somehow.

6. I love to write, whether it's my diary, a list, or a short story. I'm trying to blog regularly again.

7. I am really REALLY hard on myself about anything that matters to me.

7.5. I am an obsessive editor of anything I write.

8. My dream is to live in Zihuatanejo Mexico during the winter and Montana during the summer.

9. I still want to learn Spanish.

10. I love my little nephew and my great neice with all my heart, and I wish I could be part of both their daily existance.

11. I hope to live forever .

12. I worry a lot about my parents.

13. I wish I was more of a thinker and less of a feeler.

14. I regret filling this thing out at three in the morning when my brain's not so good.

15. I love to be around happy, positive people, because it helps to fight the darker side of myself.

16. I wish I could be have close relationships with all my siblings.  I am SO grateful and fortunate to have my sister.

17. One of the reasons that I love wedding photography so much is that I am able to capture the ideal version of love and romance that I have tucked away in my mind.

18. My goal is always; has always been: moderation and inner peace.

19. I am always amazed I have the privledge of being MOM to such beautiful and smart people.

20. If I love something, like a shirt or a restaurant, I will suck every bit of pleasure and joy out of that shirt or restaurant that I can, until I can never wear it or eat that food again. the end. Not moderate at all about ANY thing.

21. Sometimes my husband's moderation can frustrate me. I can never tell if he is frustating my dreams or making them real until the end results. Usually he is making them real. (note: I knew I would be editing in here:) When I wrote this I was irritated because we were in such a moment of him "helping" me rein in my enthusiasm about something. BUT, I have to say it, one of the main reasons I married him is that he is such a smart realist, and I totally respect and love that about him. And mostly he loves my enthusiasm about things because it helps him to lighten up a bit... )

22. I am not a great artist, but I like to paint. I am as excited about painting a picture nowadays as I was when I was in 2nd grade.

23. I LOVE jewel tones.

24. My kitchen ended up golden rod yellow one day.

25. My living room is going to be dark blue and green, starting next week...

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