Of Snow and Necklaces... and some Shopping.

This was an awesome weekend.  It's going to be hard to go back to real life tomorrow!  We (as previously mentioned) did our fair share of shopping on Friday-  mostly bought clothes, the best shopping was at Michaels on Thursday night- bought an awesome big picture frame at a third of the regular price, found the leaves I needed to do the faux finish I'm gonna do in my master bathroom, and a bunch of jewelery making stuff.... the rest if the weekend was spent playing in the snow (for Derrick and the kiddies) and making necklaces (for Renae and I).

Here the kiddies are in the Snow Fort Derrick helped them make:) They were out there at 8:30 this morning, playing.

Anikan thought it was really nice that they finally built him a house.

We watched the kids play as we made necklaces (in where it is WARM).

Renae making her first necklace ever!!! She did great!

My super vase double as a nice sturdy neck to design necklaces on.

Our "sister necklace", made out of beads we bought in Canada this summer on the motorcycle trip we took with our boys.

We bought most of the beads at a place called the "Freakin' Bead Shop".

 

Finished Necklaces:)

 

Black Friday

Last night Renae called me about some AWESOME sales going on over at Michaels. It was seriously the only thing that could have persuaded me to leave my bed of chocolate (the chocolate, by the way, was thrown in the bed with me by my loving husband much in the way you might throw feeder fish in a pirahna tank, with similar results). We found AMAZING deals, and the resulting adrenaline rush has gave me the energy to come home and once again be among the living and actually be conversational (even played some Mario Bros. with big D). Going to go meet Renae in town and start some non-early shopping (not that I really need anything, but it'll be fun to look and be with my sis) in just a little while.

*Sigh*

How come when I start yelling @ people around here to do stuff (and when I say people I mean kids, and when I say stuff I mean elementary things like FLUSHING THE TOILET, which for some reason neither one of them has fully mastered...)the only one who shows up to see what all the yelling is about is the cat, who shows up, watching silently at my feet, waiting to trip me in my distraction and take me down....

Sloooow Day

Wow. I ate a massive amount of chocolate today. Haven't been on a bender like that for years. Also mac n' cheese... Balanced out with a green drink? Hmmm. Been a homebody today. Derrick took the kids sledding at the park earlier- I declined on going into the cold (or running as I had contemplated earlier), and instead spent the day on the couch going through all of my digital pictures and coming up with 525 pics to put in the digital frame that has been turned off pretty much ever since Derrick got it for me a couple years ago. Finished laundry (mostly), did a small amount of housework, and now I'm laying in bed covered in chocolate wrappers:) It was a nice aimless day full of wrong food choices and inactivity- haven't had one of those in awhile and it felt nice.

~First Snow and Pink Cheeked Kids~

No school (or work for me) because it's a snow day:)

last color of fall

Loss

I (and a lot of other people) lost a very special person yesterday in a car accident. It was a personal loss to me because this man has been there for me these last couple of years, helping me figure out some things that very well could have permanently altered my life in a negative way if I hadn't have changed them. Because of his own life experience, and his ability to use the bible in a way that could reach both my mind and heart, his words sunk in. They have stuck with me in such a way that it is his voice I hear whenever I am tempted to revisit self-destruction. I can't believe that he is gone. He was one of those pillars that you expect to be there for a lifetime for you to lean on... I wish that I had told him again how much I appreciated everything he had done for me and how much I loved him. One thing that I have been holding dear to my heart is that one of the last times that we talked he told me that he was proud of me. That meant a great deal to me. I will have to hold on to that, and also hold the same things that reassure me about my mom- time doesn't exist for them now, they are safe in Jehovah's memory, and the next thing they know they'll be waking up in the Paradise.

The End

We all must find it somewhere
It's just around the bend
Will it be an angry face
Will it be a friend
Escape from all who chase you
Redemption for your sins
Reward for all who play this game
If he loses or he wins
No escape can yet be found
No place to hide your face
It sweeps you like a piece of dirt
And left there is no trace

Holding It Together

A Not-Faux Experience

We had a great time yesterday learning various faux "painting" techniques.  We didn't really use much paint at all, as most of the techniques call for plaster, glaze, stencils, or tissue paper.  We did way more than just the samples shown here.  It was FUN!  Cookie is going to teach a class soon about how to refinish counter tops with cement- we are so there!!!

Lyns, making beauty

Cookie giving some pointers

Our teacher, Cookie Hanson

Lace Paint- ssoooo pretty

Crackle

Leave and tissue paper (so going to use this on my bathroom walls!)

Reptile Skin

Granite

Small talk

"You are going to be a diabetic when you grow up if you don't lay of the sugar, Kloe."
"No I'm not Daddy, I'm going to be a veterinarian when I grow up."

No one can bring you peace but yourself. -Emerson

I feel bad today.  I've felt bad  off and on this week. I've tried to think of what anyone else could say or do that would make me feel better, and there just isn't anything.  I can't even define the feeling.  It's a mix between:

sad

adj. sad·der, sad·dest

1. Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.

2. Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.

3. Causing sorrow or gloom; depressing: a sad movie; sad news.

4. Deplorable; sorry: a sad state of affairs; a sad excuse.

5. Dark-hued; somber.

need·y

adj. need·i·er, need·i·est

1. Being in need; impoverished.

2. Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree.

rest·less

adj.1. Marked by a lack of quiet, repose, or rest: spent a restless night.

2. Not able to rest, relax, or be still: a restless child.

3. Never still or motionless: the restless sea..

an·gry

adj. an·gri·er, an·gri·est

1. Feeling or showing anger; incensed or enraged: angry at a rude neighbor; angry with a salesclerk.

2. Indicative of or resulting from anger: an angry silence.

3. Having a menacing aspect; threatening: angry clouds on the horizon.

4. Chiefly New England & Midland U.S. Inflamed and painful: an angry sore.

In Response to the above feelings, I am now going to think of:

Things that make me feel good-

cook·ies also cook·ys  (kk)

n. pl. cook·ies

A small, usually flat and crisp cake made from sweetened dough.

choc·o·late  (chôk-lt, chôklt, chk-)

n.Fermented, roasted, shelled, and ground cacao seeds, often combined with a sweetener or flavoring agent.

My kids (MI kds)

n.a. My children.

b. MY young persons.

Slang Pal. Used as a term of familiar address, especially for a young person: Hi, kids! What's up?

run·ning  (rnng)

n.1. The act or an instance of running.

2. The power or ability to run.

3. Sports The exercise or sport of someone who runs.

shop·ping

v.intr.

1. To visit stores in search of merchandise or bargains.

2. To look for something with the intention of acquiring it.

trav·el  (trvl)

v. To go from one place to another, as on a trip; journey.

pho·tog·ra·phy  (f-tgr-f)

n.1. The art or process of producing images of objects on photosensitive surfaces.

2. The art, practice, or occupation of taking and printing photographs.

3. A body of photographs.

friends  (frnds)

n.1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

It's been...

..one month today.

What a "Green Drink" Does That Makes It Worth Drinking.....

...even though "some" people (i.e. Derrin and Kloe) say it looks icky and tastes funny....

I blend this stuff all together every morning and chug it down.  It is worth it! My energy is so much better on days I do this, my skin feels nicer, I can run better, think better.... my emotions are nicer...:)  Highly recommended.... (thanks heather, for telling me about this...)

Ingrediants

 Kale: http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Kale
Unusually high in fiber, excellent for vitamin A, C, and B6, Calcium, potassium, folate, antioxidants, fights cancer and heart disease

Carrots: http://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/vegetable/health-benefits-of-carrot.html

Helps with blood sugar regulation, great for fighting cancers, helps vision, great source of fiber...

 Blueberries:  http://www.womenfitness.net/blueberries.htm

Blueberries ROCK.  Not only do they taste good, but they aid in fighting infections, fight colon cancer (and many other forms of cancer),  fight belly fat (*!* just found that out), fight heart disease....
cranberries:  http://www.suite101.com/content/the-health-benefits-of-cranberries-a40863
fights infections (of course), fights bad cholesterol raises the good kind, fights both heart disease and cancer, helps with digestion...
bananas: http://bananasweb.com/bananas/Health+Benefits+of+Bananas

Immediate and slightly prolonged source of energy, improved mood, relatively high in iron, fiber, Eyesight Protection, Healthy Bones, highly protective to kidney health, prevents high blood pressure, Bananas are high in B vitamins that have been shows to improve nerve function.
Many people report that rubbing the inside of a banana peel on a mosquito bite is very effective in reducing itching and swelling. (*!* just had to include this because it's AWESOME)

My New Winter Goals

Every fall, before winter falls around my shoulders again, I like to make a new list of goals- a Survival Guide if you will.  Last year I focused mainly on running, and I'm happy to say I actually stuck with it and it helped greatly.  I've been through a lot this year, and one of the benefits from all the turmoil (a dramatic word, but oh-so-accurate), is that it has given me plenty of time to pause and contemplate what I need in my life.  Hopefully my follow-through on this years list will be as good as last year (although my list is quite a bit longer).
Spiritual
1. Improve my prayers.
2.Service twice a week- Wednesday and Saturday mornings.  16 hours a month... better recordings of return visits.
3.  Meeting attendance... go whether I feel like being around people or not, no excuses unless I'm bleeding out of my ears.
4.Use Thursday after work as time to study better for that night's meeting.  Help the kids prepare an answer for bible reading.
5. Really read my bible every day- even if it's just a couple of verses.
6.Invite friends from our congregation(and not just the family kind) over for dinner at LEAST twice a month... quit being a chicken about having company.
 Physical
1.  Continue running- get back to 3-4 times a week.  Aim for m, t, f 4 miles each and 6 miles on either weekend day- 18 miles total.
2.  Continue green drinks daily.
3.  Buy more vitamins!!! Take daily!
Financial
1.  Make an arrangement to completely pay off our credit cards.  Financial freedom!!! Down with credit card slavery!!!
2. Continue to put money into savings every pay day.  Then don't spend it.
3. Start a separate savings account just for travel.  Start to save for the Europe dream trip that WILL happen someday.
 Art & Photography & All Projects
1. Do one photography project a week and post some pics in here.
2. Finish the paintings I started last winter before I start any new ones this winter!!!
3. Make the necklaces with the beads that Renae and I bought in Canada this summer (with Renae!)
4. Strip my end tables and stain them black so they FINALLY match my coffee table!  Buy the glass for the top of the coffee table.
5. Strip Kloe's dresser and paint it and her lizard's stand.
6. Paint my bathroom using fuex(fuax? Foe? I think I'm getting farther away from correctness) techniques Lyns and I are gonna learn this weekend!!!
Relationships
1. Keep in better contact with my friends and family.  Phone calls, emails, cards... so they know I love them, because I so do!!! NO MORE HERMIT TENDENCIES.  Winter or not- I MUST keep in contact with friends.  No disappearing.  I am not a bear.
2. Buy Derrick more gifts... do things for him that I like when he does for me:)
3. Play with my kids more.
4. Be more proactive in relationships- make the first move more.
5. Stop sweating the small stuff in relationships, and also the stuff I can not change.  Dwell on the positive, not the negative.

On being an INFP

Saddest on Myers/Briggs? hahaha:)
~Type Descriptions~
INFp [+] and [-]

If your type is Intuitive-Ethical Intratim - INFp (The Romantic):

You are a very romantic person and have an excellent imagination. You appreciate beauty in both art and life. Your creative nature cannot stand greyness and regularity. You always bring an element of elegance and originality to any situation. You understand others moods and dispositions well and will often use your good sense of humour to uplift friends and family. You posses a rich variety of emotions and you can apply it to many situations. You depend greatly on your emotions to guide you. Sometimes you show great feeling for people and may often idealise others. Wherever you go you often create an atmosphere of elation and optimism.

You have a tendency to be led by lofty aspirations to an easy life. You often complain about your emotional and physical state. Eventually you can cause people to tire of you and even doubt your honesty concerning your well being. Sometimes you waste lots of time on small talk and fruitless dreaming instead of realistic activity. You have difficulty forcing yourself to do uninteresting, everyday chores, especially if finances and household economy are involved. You often cannot resist buying something that catches your eye sometimes causing you to exceed your budget.

Run for the Health of It!!!

We did our run today. It was so fun to both be running again and to be together with loved ones. Last year this run enabled three people to pay for colonoscopies who otherwise couldn't have. That is awesome! It felt so great to be out there running again- definitely what I needed to be motivated to keep on going. Love and happiness... (ps- Derrick isn't in any of the pics because he was always behind the camera:)

Guitar Playin Kid

It occurred to me that I've written more about what Kloe-girl has been up to lately that what Derrin has been up too. Weeelll.... I'm in the process of trying to find him another guitar teacher, without much success. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to find a teacher with decent openings for a new student, but the only times available seem to be either Friday nights or Saturday mornings. Yuk. He's been practicing away anyways though, doing some riffs that Doug showed him and working with some videos that we have. I changed the strings on my guitar so we could learn some new tabs together. I've been trying to do some of the stuff I used to know, but I have messed around and forgot a lot of it. I was fumbling through"Black bird" by the Beatles this morning, and asked Derrin if he'd like to learn it- his smart comment back was,"Sure Mom, maybe we can learn it TOGETHER". Smarty Pants. It'll be fun playing with him though.

He has a snake now- a Corral Sand Boa named Jasper. Very cute little guy, shouldn't get more than a couple feet long. Derrin feeds him frozen pinkie mice on Tuesdays:) It is fascinating to watch.

Derrick bought the kids MP3 players last night. The music teacher at school does all holiday music this time of year, so any kids that don't celebrate holidays get to sit out in the hallway by themselves. It frustrates me for the kids... Derrick got them the MP3 players and put what he feels is educational music on them so the will at least have something to listen to while they are banished to the hallways. He got Derrin a book to continue to learn how to read music and play the guitar... there are no rooms for Derrin to actually practice his guitar (thus the hallway banishment), but at least he can still be learning.

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis

One of the things I miss most about mom is how I'd just have to think about calling her, and my phone would ring... She'd be calling me. It was funny- half of the time Renae would be trying to call too, like we'd all decided we needed to talk at the same moment. I talked to my mom almost every day of my life... Even if it was just a thirty second phone call to say hi and I love you. I miss her.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

A Clean Room...

On a different note, Kloe's room is once again clean. That is something that bares reporting AND repeating: KLOE'S ROOM IS ONCE AGAIN CLEAN. I would like -->*like*<-- to report that she was the one that made it so, and I can say that it was a semi-valiant effort... well, at least it was a time-consuming effort. She spent a lot of time in there, rearranging piles and tucking things away into nooks and crannies, hopefully never to be heard from again. *sigh* *SIGH* And then... ->I<- caved and cleaned it for her. It took me two and a half HOURS to do it!!! (!) Three bags of garbage, all art supplies gathered and boxed together, dresser drawers rearranged into some semblance of order, new clothes bar installed that is just her height so she can now hang up her OWN clothes, toys grouped together in their own boxes... new baskets just for shoes.... and presto, CLEAN.

New plan of action: To avoid repeating our pattern yet again, I have put labels on EVERYTHING. Everything now has a home. It finally dawned on me that she makes no distinction between any of her treasures- they are all equal in her eyes, and they all deserve to roam about her room as they will. My sweet little moonbeam of a child... Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you are asking), there is a new sheriff in charge (at least until she learns how to corral her own stuff). This has to be better than the frustration that inevitably comes when her room is completely out of control again.

Status of room so far: CLEAN (for two whole days!!!)

Run, Running, Runable, run-atious, Runanananun

So I am officially signed up for the "Run for the Health of It" 5K this Saturday. Should be interesting as I haven't been able to get myself to run even ONCE this whole month. I may be walking quite a bit of it. I'm hoping that this will be a springboard for beginning to run again though. I need to do it!!! Between my obsession with chocolate, black licorice, and anything fatty and delicious lately PLUS my couch potato-ism, my pants were a bit tight this morning. I was so going to run today before work... that didn't happen, but I did make a green drink (kale, blue berries, cranberries, banana) and took my vitamins for the first time in a month- yay for self-care... But seriously, running and all that other stuff is going to be huge in the surviving of this winter, which has always been a struggle for me anyways, even before everything that has happened with mom.

I've been reading a lot about delayed grief. Talked to Renae yesterday about how I just don't seem to feel much of anything right now (besides being so tired and lethargic), and she said that is how she feels too. Brandon too- he hasn't really cried at all... and I know Steph is there too. Even Dad seems to be there with us. A lot of stuff I've been reading says that this can happen a lot with care givers of terminally ill loved ones- it's a coping mechanism we have when we need to get through an especially hard time (like when caring for someone who is actively dying), but that it is hard to turn off after the crisis has passed. I feel like we are sitting on a ticking time bomb. Dad wants us to come down and go through her things soon. Also, we are need to choose a headstone and sprinkle her ashes...

Back to the race... SO, Renae called me yesterday to let me know that Partnership for Health is one of it's sponsors and beneficiaries. It is... not sure if ironic is the right word here... well, just a fun fact for us, especially since Steph and I (Patsy's progeny) are going to run something for them, since they were the ones who let her go for YEARS without a colonoscopy, even after she repeatedly reported symptoms that screamed colon cancer. If they would have listened to her (even if they would have just had her get one because she was over fifty), she would still be alive today. Because of what happened to Mom, they changed the whole structure of when to recommend colonoscopies to their patients. This run could even be in reaction to what happened to her- trying to make colonoscopies more available and affordable to lower-income people. So, it will be a bittersweet thing to run for them on Saturday... mostly sweet though. I wish that funds had have been available for my mom all those years ago (and that her doctor would have recommended she use them).