We are so close to being done with this whole moving, fixing up the new place,and then fixing up the old place for the new renters thing. So.very.close.
Sabrina and DezNik came over to help me with cleaning/painting the old place today. Soooo much help. Sabrina is such a fast painter. Daaaang. She knocked out about 45% of what needs to get done in one day. And DezNik made my refrigerator look like new. Awesome- that was one of my most dreaded jobs over there.
While we were getting ready to leave, the subject of a wedding came up. The whole wedding photography thing was sure to follow. I have to admit, it's a bit of a sore subject with me.
It's one of those topics where I need to sort of stand outside myself and watch myself talk about it. Obviously (at least to anyone who has ever heard me rant), I've been a bit hurt and burnt by the whole subject. I'm not going to make this post be another rant about the whole thing.
Tonight, I watched myself rant (I didn't stop myself though), and I realized I've turned some corner into bitterness. I don't want that bitterness to live inside me, and I don't even realize it's there until I automatically develop verbal diarrhea when the subject comes up. The truth is, I do believe everything I am saying is true. The truth also is, I don't want to care so much. I want to release all of those hurt feelings that propel the words.
I need to move on. I've implemented a plan to avoid anymore awkward/either being used or looking like a jerk situations. Now, I need to just more beyond any of the stuff that helped me develop my little rants in the first place.
Sabrina and DezNik came over to help me with cleaning/painting the old place today. Soooo much help. Sabrina is such a fast painter. Daaaang. She knocked out about 45% of what needs to get done in one day. And DezNik made my refrigerator look like new. Awesome- that was one of my most dreaded jobs over there.
While we were getting ready to leave, the subject of a wedding came up. The whole wedding photography thing was sure to follow. I have to admit, it's a bit of a sore subject with me.
It's one of those topics where I need to sort of stand outside myself and watch myself talk about it. Obviously (at least to anyone who has ever heard me rant), I've been a bit hurt and burnt by the whole subject. I'm not going to make this post be another rant about the whole thing.
Tonight, I watched myself rant (I didn't stop myself though), and I realized I've turned some corner into bitterness. I don't want that bitterness to live inside me, and I don't even realize it's there until I automatically develop verbal diarrhea when the subject comes up. The truth is, I do believe everything I am saying is true. The truth also is, I don't want to care so much. I want to release all of those hurt feelings that propel the words.
I need to move on. I've implemented a plan to avoid anymore awkward/either being used or looking like a jerk situations. Now, I need to just more beyond any of the stuff that helped me develop my little rants in the first place.
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