For some reason I haven't been very motivated on myspace this week. It is a very strange turn around for me, because I was completely addicted for months on end! This place should come with a caution sign.
I've been meaning to write a blog this week. I actually did write a small one a couple days ago, but my computer freaked out and didn't post it. My frustration was great so I moved on to something else. But it is time to write down the highlights of the week so I don't forget them (my mind has way too many holes in to sustain memories right now).
I wanted to mention that when I went down to settle the proof of insurance thing, it was very anti-climatical. A clerk just looked at my insurance and stamped it dismissed. I have to admit, I was somewhat disappointed. The fact that I was disappointed made me stop and think a little about what is going on in my head. Then it came to me: We are in the middle of winter. It is grey skies all around. My mom is sick. And I always, 100% of the time, crash this time of year anyway. I fall apart, my memories of happy days get fuzzy, everything gets irritating and boring, I'm completely tired and my body feels like it is made out of lead. But instead of being prepared for this, it always comes as a bit of a shock when I realize if I have to live in this state of mind for even one more second I may have to kill myself .
It was do or die time. So, I went into town to various stores that sell the usual vitamins and supplements I always have to take this time of year, and I called Derrick to tell him it was time to join the gym (I pretty much do this every winter), so he called a gym he's been interested in and got it lined out for me. I really like it there and one of the best things is that they have a daycare, so I can go whenever I want. It's only been about four days since I started working toward a better frame of mind, but I am feeling a LOT more positive about life. I may just make it through this winter after all.
On a different note, I got to go see the Clumsy Lovers last night at the Top Hat! I LOVE them. Oh my goodness, you can't go to see their show and not be jumping around, smiling like a crazy person by the end of the night. We pushed our way to the very front of the crowd, my favorite place to be. I am still a little deaf from being right in front of the speaker, and my voice is still hoarse from yelling and singing along as loud as I could.
The people around us were so funny, I kept cracking up at them. There was this cowboy guy directly in front of us doing this crazy dance that had a lot of butt shaking involved. My friend Sabrina and I about died laughing. Then there were the usual Missoula hippie-types, twirling and whirling, feeling their magical fairy feelings. I love those hippies. They really make me feel like I could be doing cartwheels down the middle of the audience and no one would care at all. There were also your typical deviants all around us. There was this one guy that harrassed my friend Shawna Lee for a long time. I wouldn't really want to make her too mad. I was expecting a fist fight to break out. There was this one time where Shawna pulled me from her one side to the other, giving me a strange look. I kept happily bouncing up and down singing, but later she told me there was some freak smelling my hair and being... strange. There is something so demoralizing about a freak smelling your hair. But all in all, it was a fabulous night.
And that is the end of my rundown of the week. Cheers!
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