No one can bring you peace but yourself. -Emerson

I feel bad today.  I've felt bad  off and on this week. I've tried to think of what anyone else could say or do that would make me feel better, and there just isn't anything.  I can't even define the feeling.  It's a mix between:

sad

adj. sad·der, sad·dest

1. Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.

2. Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.

3. Causing sorrow or gloom; depressing: a sad movie; sad news.

4. Deplorable; sorry: a sad state of affairs; a sad excuse.

5. Dark-hued; somber.

need·y

adj. need·i·er, need·i·est

1. Being in need; impoverished.

2. Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree.

rest·less

adj.1. Marked by a lack of quiet, repose, or rest: spent a restless night.

2. Not able to rest, relax, or be still: a restless child.

3. Never still or motionless: the restless sea..

an·gry

adj. an·gri·er, an·gri·est

1. Feeling or showing anger; incensed or enraged: angry at a rude neighbor; angry with a salesclerk.

2. Indicative of or resulting from anger: an angry silence.

3. Having a menacing aspect; threatening: angry clouds on the horizon.

4. Chiefly New England & Midland U.S. Inflamed and painful: an angry sore.

In Response to the above feelings, I am now going to think of:

Things that make me feel good-

cook·ies also cook·ys  (kk)

n. pl. cook·ies

A small, usually flat and crisp cake made from sweetened dough.

choc·o·late  (chôk-lt, chôklt, chk-)

n.Fermented, roasted, shelled, and ground cacao seeds, often combined with a sweetener or flavoring agent.

My kids (MI kds)

n.a. My children.

b. MY young persons.

Slang Pal. Used as a term of familiar address, especially for a young person: Hi, kids! What's up?

run·ning  (rnng)

n.1. The act or an instance of running.

2. The power or ability to run.

3. Sports The exercise or sport of someone who runs.

shop·ping

v.intr.

1. To visit stores in search of merchandise or bargains.

2. To look for something with the intention of acquiring it.

trav·el  (trvl)

v. To go from one place to another, as on a trip; journey.

pho·tog·ra·phy  (f-tgr-f)

n.1. The art or process of producing images of objects on photosensitive surfaces.

2. The art, practice, or occupation of taking and printing photographs.

3. A body of photographs.

friends  (frnds)

n.1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

It's been...

..one month today.

What a "Green Drink" Does That Makes It Worth Drinking.....

...even though "some" people (i.e. Derrin and Kloe) say it looks icky and tastes funny....

I blend this stuff all together every morning and chug it down.  It is worth it! My energy is so much better on days I do this, my skin feels nicer, I can run better, think better.... my emotions are nicer...:)  Highly recommended.... (thanks heather, for telling me about this...)

Ingrediants

 Kale: http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Kale
Unusually high in fiber, excellent for vitamin A, C, and B6, Calcium, potassium, folate, antioxidants, fights cancer and heart disease

Carrots: http://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/vegetable/health-benefits-of-carrot.html

Helps with blood sugar regulation, great for fighting cancers, helps vision, great source of fiber...

 Blueberries:  http://www.womenfitness.net/blueberries.htm

Blueberries ROCK.  Not only do they taste good, but they aid in fighting infections, fight colon cancer (and many other forms of cancer),  fight belly fat (*!* just found that out), fight heart disease....
cranberries:  http://www.suite101.com/content/the-health-benefits-of-cranberries-a40863
fights infections (of course), fights bad cholesterol raises the good kind, fights both heart disease and cancer, helps with digestion...
bananas: http://bananasweb.com/bananas/Health+Benefits+of+Bananas

Immediate and slightly prolonged source of energy, improved mood, relatively high in iron, fiber, Eyesight Protection, Healthy Bones, highly protective to kidney health, prevents high blood pressure, Bananas are high in B vitamins that have been shows to improve nerve function.
Many people report that rubbing the inside of a banana peel on a mosquito bite is very effective in reducing itching and swelling. (*!* just had to include this because it's AWESOME)

My New Winter Goals

Every fall, before winter falls around my shoulders again, I like to make a new list of goals- a Survival Guide if you will.  Last year I focused mainly on running, and I'm happy to say I actually stuck with it and it helped greatly.  I've been through a lot this year, and one of the benefits from all the turmoil (a dramatic word, but oh-so-accurate), is that it has given me plenty of time to pause and contemplate what I need in my life.  Hopefully my follow-through on this years list will be as good as last year (although my list is quite a bit longer).
Spiritual
1. Improve my prayers.
2.Service twice a week- Wednesday and Saturday mornings.  16 hours a month... better recordings of return visits.
3.  Meeting attendance... go whether I feel like being around people or not, no excuses unless I'm bleeding out of my ears.
4.Use Thursday after work as time to study better for that night's meeting.  Help the kids prepare an answer for bible reading.
5. Really read my bible every day- even if it's just a couple of verses.
6.Invite friends from our congregation(and not just the family kind) over for dinner at LEAST twice a month... quit being a chicken about having company.
 Physical
1.  Continue running- get back to 3-4 times a week.  Aim for m, t, f 4 miles each and 6 miles on either weekend day- 18 miles total.
2.  Continue green drinks daily.
3.  Buy more vitamins!!! Take daily!
Financial
1.  Make an arrangement to completely pay off our credit cards.  Financial freedom!!! Down with credit card slavery!!!
2. Continue to put money into savings every pay day.  Then don't spend it.
3. Start a separate savings account just for travel.  Start to save for the Europe dream trip that WILL happen someday.
 Art & Photography & All Projects
1. Do one photography project a week and post some pics in here.
2. Finish the paintings I started last winter before I start any new ones this winter!!!
3. Make the necklaces with the beads that Renae and I bought in Canada this summer (with Renae!)
4. Strip my end tables and stain them black so they FINALLY match my coffee table!  Buy the glass for the top of the coffee table.
5. Strip Kloe's dresser and paint it and her lizard's stand.
6. Paint my bathroom using fuex(fuax? Foe? I think I'm getting farther away from correctness) techniques Lyns and I are gonna learn this weekend!!!
Relationships
1. Keep in better contact with my friends and family.  Phone calls, emails, cards... so they know I love them, because I so do!!! NO MORE HERMIT TENDENCIES.  Winter or not- I MUST keep in contact with friends.  No disappearing.  I am not a bear.
2. Buy Derrick more gifts... do things for him that I like when he does for me:)
3. Play with my kids more.
4. Be more proactive in relationships- make the first move more.
5. Stop sweating the small stuff in relationships, and also the stuff I can not change.  Dwell on the positive, not the negative.

On being an INFP

Saddest on Myers/Briggs? hahaha:)
~Type Descriptions~
INFp [+] and [-]

If your type is Intuitive-Ethical Intratim - INFp (The Romantic):

You are a very romantic person and have an excellent imagination. You appreciate beauty in both art and life. Your creative nature cannot stand greyness and regularity. You always bring an element of elegance and originality to any situation. You understand others moods and dispositions well and will often use your good sense of humour to uplift friends and family. You posses a rich variety of emotions and you can apply it to many situations. You depend greatly on your emotions to guide you. Sometimes you show great feeling for people and may often idealise others. Wherever you go you often create an atmosphere of elation and optimism.

You have a tendency to be led by lofty aspirations to an easy life. You often complain about your emotional and physical state. Eventually you can cause people to tire of you and even doubt your honesty concerning your well being. Sometimes you waste lots of time on small talk and fruitless dreaming instead of realistic activity. You have difficulty forcing yourself to do uninteresting, everyday chores, especially if finances and household economy are involved. You often cannot resist buying something that catches your eye sometimes causing you to exceed your budget.

Run for the Health of It!!!

We did our run today. It was so fun to both be running again and to be together with loved ones. Last year this run enabled three people to pay for colonoscopies who otherwise couldn't have. That is awesome! It felt so great to be out there running again- definitely what I needed to be motivated to keep on going. Love and happiness... (ps- Derrick isn't in any of the pics because he was always behind the camera:)

Guitar Playin Kid

It occurred to me that I've written more about what Kloe-girl has been up to lately that what Derrin has been up too. Weeelll.... I'm in the process of trying to find him another guitar teacher, without much success. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to find a teacher with decent openings for a new student, but the only times available seem to be either Friday nights or Saturday mornings. Yuk. He's been practicing away anyways though, doing some riffs that Doug showed him and working with some videos that we have. I changed the strings on my guitar so we could learn some new tabs together. I've been trying to do some of the stuff I used to know, but I have messed around and forgot a lot of it. I was fumbling through"Black bird" by the Beatles this morning, and asked Derrin if he'd like to learn it- his smart comment back was,"Sure Mom, maybe we can learn it TOGETHER". Smarty Pants. It'll be fun playing with him though.

He has a snake now- a Corral Sand Boa named Jasper. Very cute little guy, shouldn't get more than a couple feet long. Derrin feeds him frozen pinkie mice on Tuesdays:) It is fascinating to watch.

Derrick bought the kids MP3 players last night. The music teacher at school does all holiday music this time of year, so any kids that don't celebrate holidays get to sit out in the hallway by themselves. It frustrates me for the kids... Derrick got them the MP3 players and put what he feels is educational music on them so the will at least have something to listen to while they are banished to the hallways. He got Derrin a book to continue to learn how to read music and play the guitar... there are no rooms for Derrin to actually practice his guitar (thus the hallway banishment), but at least he can still be learning.

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis