Cancer means... Watching her die in slow motion. Wondering about why I feel so cold and detached. Scared that it is going to end. Seeing every loved one's face strained and stressed as they walk through the door and see her again- even if it's only been a day. Watching her cheekbones show more and more, and her eyes opened up to somewhere else, not here. Seeing her only communication become little blinks when she pulls herself enough back to us to answer anything. Moments left being measured in days, hours, and breaths. Every goodbye is the forever from this side kind.