Randomosity

1.  I've rediscovered Kate Bush.  I'd forgotten I had even ever known about her, for crying out loud, and her music exemplifies my favorite style of music; haunting, storytelling lyrics and wistful female lead vocals.  My point is, happy rediscovery!!!

2.  I've started running with pepper spray in hand.  HA!  Take that mountain lions, giant Runner-Devouring-German-Shepards,  and wanna be kidnappers.  Not that I've ever seen any of you (except for rogue dogs), but I know you've been hiding behind trees, just waiting to chew on my legs.  Hope you remember to stand still enough for me to squirt my spray in your eyeball.

 3.  There have been some "driving issues", of a demoralizing nature.  I started Monday off with a "BANG".  One minute I was just driving along, enjoying the morning sun which was almost blindingly bright light, and the next thing I know I'm flying full speed up over a curb that I didn't even see.  The road out there is pretty wide except for one spot that gets very narrow with a curb that juts out into the road as a defining feature of a crosswalk.  I've always hated that spot.  Shaken up, I got out to see the damage.  A guy stopped from his morning walk just to shout "TWO FLATS!!!"  Well, thank you for your caring observation, Mr. Walking Man.  So thankful for that useful information.  But really, I am okay. I can tell you are so worried as you scurry away with your good samaritan observation of the day checked off of your list. Glad I could help with that.

So, two flat tires.  Turns out my insurance covers towing.  The tow truck driver was very fun to talk to on the way to Les Schwab.  Hanging out with him, hearing his story of what it's like to be a tow truck driver, was the best part of the experience. 

Derrick was in a meeting seeing if he would be chosen for jury duty, so getting a hold of him was impossible until much later.  He was eventually dismissed just in time to decide that instead of two new snow tires, we'd go ahead and put regular tires on for Spring.  Then he took me out to breakfast/lunch, since this whole thing had started at 8:30 in the morning and I hadn't even had breakfast yet (noon and I was still wearing my pajamas, although they passed for regular clothes pretty well).  Between the new Spring tires and an eventual wheel replacement as well as two new winter tires, my little mistake turned costly.

4.  Add me to the list of people that the IRS likes to stress out.  That's all I'm gonna say about that one.

5.  Went to Thompson Falls last weekend and got to see my family and friends there.  Talked to Dad about eventually growing a lot of potatoes and organic food on his land.  This seems like a good idea because...

6.  ...we now are proud receivers of Netflicks, which includes a lot of instant movies and shows we can get off of our wii console, and this means a whole new world of DOCUMENTARY access has opened up to us.  I am GEEKING out.  Friday night (the night before the discussion with my dad about growing potatoes and organic food) I had the house to myself, so first I watched a documentary about "The Moment of Death", and then I watched one about the Solitary Confinement and the psychological consequences it induces, and continuing onward with my dark theme, we (Derrick was home for the last one) watched one called "Collapse" about the co-relation between oil and the world's economy, and how worldwide famine will soon be a reality (no problem believing that).  Needless to say, I started the weekend off with a macabre frame of mind. The weekend with my family, the Watchtower lesson at meeting on Sunday about the power Jehovah supplies through holy spirit (SUCH a good article!) and then the car issues on Monday helped bring me back to the present.  Still want to plant the potatoes and organic vegetables though, but more for the love of gardening and healthy food than for mass food storage.

7.  My kids would rather be inside, than out in the sun.  What's up with THAT?  I almost feel like re-messing up their rooms so I could tell them the choice is either clean their room or go outside.  Spring Break starts tomorrow.  I see I will need to come up with a threatening list of chores to point to any time they start giving me a hard time about going outside.

Related?

Derrin: Kloe, you have eyebrows EXACTLY like daddies.
Kloe: Well (as in DUH), of course I do, we are relatives. Your eyebrows aren't like his at ALL. I bet YOU aren't even related.

Tonight as I was tucking Derrin into his bed, he asked what he and Kloe should do if there was an earthquake and Derrick and I had been hurt very badly (or worse).  It shouldn't have been too surprising of a question; we've been discussing disaster preparedness ever since the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  It still caught me off guard though.  In every one of my senerios I've thought out, the common denominator was me.  I'd be there to take care of the kids.  I'd be there to know where our emergency supplies are, and what phone numbers to call for help or who I could track down for help.  I'd be there.

It must be human nature to think of death on the terms of losing someone else.  It's too hard to think of not being there for someone you love during their time of need.  It makes me think of my mom.  She never really believed she was going to leave us.  I think she was torn between being so tired of the struggle to beat that cancer just one more day, and just wishing things could go back to the way they used to be before she got sick- just being able to focus on her family and life without having to worry about every bite of food she put into her mouth and remembering to take the hundreds of pills she took every day just to keep going.

35

I turned 35 today.  WHAT?  It's kind of a weird idea for me... THIRTY-FIVE.  Wow, half-way through my thirties.  I don't feel like 35 inside, but this is the year I can see that my thirties are showing through.  There are lines on my forehead, and a furrow in my brow that became deeper last October during the time that my momma was so sick.  They have decided to take up permanent residence on my face.  My plan so far has been to cut bangs and wear hats and *presto*, no more lines and furrows.  I am thinking that eventually, as lines start to appear more noticeably around my eyes, I am going to have to invest in some giant movie star sunglasses and start finding legitimate reasons to wear them everywhere... and maybe start wearing turtle necks to hide my neck if that becomes an issue... maybe invest in a burqa.:)

Honestly though,  I'm not too freaked out about turning 35.  My mom didn't even get pregnant with me until she was 36, and I find a huge deal of  comfort from that as I am entering into the second part of thirty-hood.  If our lives had coincided as strangers destined to be friends in the year I was born (and we were destined to be SUCH friends), I wouldn't have even have met her yet.   I experienced knowing a mother who had created another part of her family at age 37.  I guess my point is that it's not over yet, and I'm not done becoming who I am going to be... and hopefully I won't ever be done with it.

I saw my mom grow older.  She was 71 when she died, and she was still so beautiful.  If anything, she just became more beautiful as she got older.  When you surround yourself with people who see you through eyes of love, and you always strive to be the most loving person you can be, you will always be a beautiful person. A good skin care routine helps too (Thanks Mom, for showing me the way).  :)

A Field Trip with My Girlio

Yesterday I went on a field trip with Kloe and her 2nd grade class. It turned into a very fun day.

First of all, we were transported everywhere on the city bus, which was a first for 'ma girl and 'maself (we are so NOT eco-friendly with our using CARS and such).

We went to the University, where our first stop was the indian center.  It was mildly entertaining and a kinda educational.  I think the lady giving the tour could have made it a lot more fun, because Native American history is exciting.

Next we went to the Health Sciences Center where we were able to look at all sorts of dead animals, like Griz and Polar bear skulls, lots of different kinds of bats, and hundreds of different kinds of animal pelts.

After that we went to the  Meloy Gallery art exhibit.  There was some very beautiful artwork there.  It is amazing to see portraits that capture the light and textures like they did; so beautiful and amazing.  I would love love love to go again.

We took some pictures (Not of the art though- against the rules, just ask the 2nd graders- VERY aggressive on enforcing rules.  I almost caused a riot suggesting I should take some pictures)... I'll have to try to get some in here!

Kids and Cats

Derrin: You know that with Persian cats, if they have one green eye and one blue eye, that it means they are deaf in the side of the blue eye? (Another random fact by Derrin.)

Kloe: Well, I KNOW Anikan isn't deaf.  I scream in his ear every night just to make sure.

Some Mommy Bragging Time

My baby girl is becoming a philosopher.  At least a couple times a day, she is talking in representative, illustrative, abstract and comparative language.  Makes me smile to watch her connecting her dots as she waves her arms around dramatically to make her point.  Sweet thing.  Very big picture thinking from an 8 year old perspective.  Some of her points are very much building on previous conversation she's had with us- if you didn't know she was starting at building block number three, you'd definitely be left scratching your head.  Since we were there for the first three blocks, it just makes us proud of her and her thinking ability.

I love this project of growing people.  We ended up with two very different kids, but I just like them both so much.  You always know that you will love your kids, but it is fun to see them growing into people I would just choose to hang out with; if I just met them, I would think these are great kids.  Makes me happy.

Winter Running/Walking

It was actually nice enough out today to go running/walking.  Still cold-ish (around 35 degrees), but the snow had melted off of the sidewalks and roads.  It was about the perfect temperature- I didn't get over-heated or have to start stripping off layers like I usually do.  Also, the water from the melted snow had a chance to absorb into the ground before it froze again, so there was no mud to splash through.

I did the whole 6.2 miles.  Probably ran about 2.5, and speed-walked the rest.  It took me exactly 90 minutes, which reflected the walking portion of it slowing me down.  In the 5Ks (3.1 miles) I have done, it has taken me about 29.5 minutes.  My goal for this run eventually would be a time of 60 minutes.  Not gonna happen right now though.

The stand-off between my treadmill and myself during these winter months has definitely caused me to lose some of my lung capacity out there.  It's a bit of a bummer.  I'm hoping for more days like this though; I bet by next week at this time (if I can keep getting out there), I should be at 80 minutes (40 minutes each way).  I think it is doable.

Dreamin

I had a dream about Mom the other night.  Derrick and I were at a movie theater, visiting before the movie (and we had snuck in two very cute and naughty ferrets under our coats... can't imagine what they represent...) when I looked up and saw Mom and Dad sitting a couple rows ahead of us.  In the way of dreams, it didn't even occur to me that she wouldn't (or couldn't, shouldn't?) be there. Derrick and I went up to sit by them, and I sat by Mom.  We didn't really talk very much, I just held her hand and snuggled into her while we watched the movie.  Good dream.

Dream Coach

I've been having the nigglings of guilt for the last week or so at my lame-ness at consistent blogging.  I am just not that great at consistency in ANY area of my life.  It is always a big part of any goal I make for myself to strive for consistency.  Unfortunately my lack of consistency (ironically) has also leaked over into my goal of consistency.

One of my greatest wishes for myself is that of a life coach.  My life coach would be one tough dude.  Man would I hate him- which is why he would need to be a paid employee because that way the choice of following his orders would still be mine.  He would be barking at me from 6:30 in the morning to get UP to write and read and do anything else that requires quiet time.   Then he would run beside me, rain or shine or snow, and he'd be making me run so much harder than I do by myself.  He would keep tighter tabs of my bank account, and really make me sit down and logically figure out where my dollars should be going.  He would sit down with me and make me figure out menus for my family and then find the best ingredients for the best prices.  He would make me work on my assertiveness by making me stand up to HIM, because after standing up to scary HIM everyone else would look like kittens.  He would make me sit down and make a business plan for myself and then make me actually follow through with every intimidating idea.  He would be tapping his toe impatiently, making me hurry up to be on time for any appointments I make and not letting me back out of anything, even if I am feeling wimpy because we are living through the-winter-that-never-ends.  He wouldn't care if I was struggling; he'd be HEARTLESS and just make me do what needs to get done.

Okay, whatever... not gonna be getting a life coach any time soon.  Spring will soon be here, and I will once again just feel like  doing most of the stuff I wish someone would make me do.  I still won't be perfectly consistent, but it'll be enough to keep the momentum needed to make me happy... well in some of the above mentioned areas anyway.  I am thinking I really do need help in some of the areas... maybe a class in self-assertiveness?  *sigh*  Something to think about anyways.