Tonight as I was tucking Derrin into his bed, he asked what he and Kloe should do if there was an earthquake and Derrick and I had been hurt very badly (or worse).  It shouldn't have been too surprising of a question; we've been discussing disaster preparedness ever since the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  It still caught me off guard though.  In every one of my senerios I've thought out, the common denominator was me.  I'd be there to take care of the kids.  I'd be there to know where our emergency supplies are, and what phone numbers to call for help or who I could track down for help.  I'd be there.

It must be human nature to think of death on the terms of losing someone else.  It's too hard to think of not being there for someone you love during their time of need.  It makes me think of my mom.  She never really believed she was going to leave us.  I think she was torn between being so tired of the struggle to beat that cancer just one more day, and just wishing things could go back to the way they used to be before she got sick- just being able to focus on her family and life without having to worry about every bite of food she put into her mouth and remembering to take the hundreds of pills she took every day just to keep going.