Chocolate, black licorice, shopping....
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
October 30, 2010
October 28, 2010
5K for Colon Cancer Screening:)
Run for the Health of It •The (WMON) is pleased to announce the 2nd annual 5K fun walk/run. All proceeds benefit Montana Cancer Screening Program which provides assistance for colon cancer screening. Starts at 10 am. The start and finish in front of The Women's Club. The course is a flat fun maze through the neighborhood. All preregistered participants are guaranteed a insulated travel mug. Stick around after the race for great prizes and raffle. Register prior to October 31st for $16, then $20 up to race day.
I feel differently than I thought I would in the days and weeks following my mom's death. I guess I thought I would cry more... instead it just doesn't feel real. Life is back to normal already... it just goes on. I don't know if it's because I am relieved that she isn't hurting anymore or what. Maybe it's because I've been saying goodbye to her for the last four years... Part of me is scared that it is still lurking in the background, waiting to come crashing in on me with all of the pain I remember having when my brother died. The other part of me is afraid that this is it, and I won't be able to grieve the way that she deserves.
October 27, 2010
October 25, 2010
Mom's Obituary
We lost our very dear wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend at the age of 71 on October 18th, after a four year battle with cancer. She fought courageously, and refused to let cancer define her or take over her life. Through it all, she remained the same kind, loving, supportive and beautiful woman we have always known.
Patsy was born February 7, 1939 in Paradise, to Ruby and Charles. She was the third of six siblings. She was a true Paradise child, swimming in the river, riding bikes, and spending her days with siblings, relatives and friends in the tight-knit community that Paradise was in those years. She grew into a fun-loving teenager who could play both guitar and piano. She met the love of her life, William, when she was 17 and soon married him in December of 1956. They made their home in Paradise where they first raised their four older children (Lonnie, Danny, Daryn and Renae) and then their two younger children (Rachel and Shaun). Their house was always full of love and laughter, music, friends and family. On July 31, 1971 after studying the bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses, Patsy dedicated her life to Jehovah and was baptized. She spent the rest of her life serving her God and one of her greatest joys was sharing the hope she’d found with others. She believed with all her heart in the resurrection described in John 5:28,29 where it says: “.. the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out…” This hope along with the assurance of living forever on a paradise earth with her family and friends brought her great comfort. (Ps. 37:29- “The righteous themselves will possess the earth, and they will reside forever upon it.”) Patsy was a member of the Thompson Falls Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Some memorable things about Patsy include her extreme kindness to family, friends and strangers alike. She always believed the best in all of us and helped us to believe in it too. She never gave up on us, even when we struggled. She was always there to celebrate with us during good times, and hold our hand through hard times.
She was so brave! When she believed in something she didn’t hesitate to go against the crowd and say out loud (in a kind way) how she felt. She always did what she knew was right and true even if it meant standing apart. She approached everyone she met as a friend she just hadn’t met yet. She was loved by so many. Just by her example alone she affected so many lives in powerful, positive ways. Not just of the people who witnessed her and changed their lives based on her example and hope, but also their children and families.
We will miss her spiritedness and playfulness. No one loved to play cards (and WIN!) as much as Patsy. She was passionate about shoes and had many of them. No one had a better sense of humor; she loved to laugh. She was truly pure at heart. She told us all how much she loved us every chance she had. We never had any doubt about how much we were loved; she made sure of it.
She gave us a powerful legacy to live up to. Our lives will never be the same again without her. We ache for the day when we get to see her again, when she will be healthy and will be restored to youthfulness.(Job 33:25; Rev. 21:3,4)
October 22, 2010
Being Raised One of Jehovah's Witnesses
One of the greatest gifts my mother (and father) ever gave me was that of teaching me everything that they knew from the bible. I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses from the time I was born. That meant several things for me; for non-witness kids the most noticeable thing about me was I never celebrated holidays (if you wonder why ask me!) or birthdays. Even as a little kid I got used to being different from other kids and learned to be okay with that.
Being a witness also meant going to three meetings a week where we would learn from the bible in an almost school-like way. We studied before going to meetings to better understand what we were learning there. It also included preaching from door to door, doing what Matthew 24:14 taught us to do.If you think being different in school from everyone else, going to meetings to learn about the bible all the time and preaching were easy for a kid... then you would need to think again. But those were times when I learned vital lessons about who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to be about. I definitely knew what the choice I was making meant for me when I was baptized at the age of 12. I had committed myself to being one Jehovah's people for life- not a thing to be done lightly, and really it wasn't something I could just jump into even if I tried. I had to answer many questions first to prove I knew what course of action I was committing myself to (as everyone who gets baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses does).
Just because my parents put all of this hard work into raising me, it doesn't mean I never let them down. Anyone who knows me from high school knows that I was not a shining example of how a Christian should act. I made several HUGE mistakes- I knew better, but thought I was missing out on fun so I did things I shouldn't have. There were several things that I could have been removed from the congregation for. Definitely things that were against the course I had committed myself to when I made my promise to God. I sorta just faded away from the congregation for awhile and did my thing. I have a lot of regrets from those days because a lot of my choices hurt other people, witnesses and non-witnesses alike.We are going through old pictures this week for a sideshow we are doing at Mom's memorial, and one that struck me is at my own graduation- my mom is hugging me and she just looks so SAD. I hate that I hurt her in those days! Mom never gave up on me- she saw the truths she'd taught me as a child as a vehicle to save me from myself. I don't know how many times I asked her to JUST STOP trying to get me to come back!!! I got to the point where I felt so low, like I could never feel good about myself again- I'd made so many bad choices. Mom NEVER gave up on me though, and eventually I woke up. Mom and Dad let me move back in with them and I talked to the "elders" in our congregation who helped me talk about what I had been doing. They could see I really regretted the choices I'd made and they helped me move passed them. They could have chose to remove me- I had shown complete disregard for everything I'd promised and hurt others and myself in the process, but I learned there (and several times since-I'm apparently a slow learner) that the elders want to help me. A person is only removed when they decide that they no longer want to be part of the congregation, and would rather live a life that isn't the one they previously committed to in their babtism.
I am SO grateful for the help the congregation and elders have given me in those times and in times like we are having now.
As an adult I go to meetings and study the bible, and still go in our bible door to door ministry. I'm passing on the gift my parents gave to me to my own children. The hope from what I've learned from the bible is so worth living a life that means swimming against the current(and fighting myself!) on a daily basis. Especially in times like these- losing my mom has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Losing her to cancer was an unimaginable horror. My dad,sister, niece, nephew and I were her primary caregivers that last month, and it was like watching her die in slow motion. A living nightmare for her and for us. The only thing that gets us through it is the hope we have from the bible that if we are loyal to God, we will see her again. When she wakes up she is going to be healthy and feel so much better again (Daniel 12:2 says there will be many of those asleep in the ground of dust who will wake up, these to indefinitely lasting life...). I refuse to let anything ever come between me and that hope ever again.
Being a witness also meant going to three meetings a week where we would learn from the bible in an almost school-like way. We studied before going to meetings to better understand what we were learning there. It also included preaching from door to door, doing what Matthew 24:14 taught us to do.If you think being different in school from everyone else, going to meetings to learn about the bible all the time and preaching were easy for a kid... then you would need to think again. But those were times when I learned vital lessons about who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to be about. I definitely knew what the choice I was making meant for me when I was baptized at the age of 12. I had committed myself to being one Jehovah's people for life- not a thing to be done lightly, and really it wasn't something I could just jump into even if I tried. I had to answer many questions first to prove I knew what course of action I was committing myself to (as everyone who gets baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses does).
Just because my parents put all of this hard work into raising me, it doesn't mean I never let them down. Anyone who knows me from high school knows that I was not a shining example of how a Christian should act. I made several HUGE mistakes- I knew better, but thought I was missing out on fun so I did things I shouldn't have. There were several things that I could have been removed from the congregation for. Definitely things that were against the course I had committed myself to when I made my promise to God. I sorta just faded away from the congregation for awhile and did my thing. I have a lot of regrets from those days because a lot of my choices hurt other people, witnesses and non-witnesses alike.We are going through old pictures this week for a sideshow we are doing at Mom's memorial, and one that struck me is at my own graduation- my mom is hugging me and she just looks so SAD. I hate that I hurt her in those days! Mom never gave up on me- she saw the truths she'd taught me as a child as a vehicle to save me from myself. I don't know how many times I asked her to JUST STOP trying to get me to come back!!! I got to the point where I felt so low, like I could never feel good about myself again- I'd made so many bad choices. Mom NEVER gave up on me though, and eventually I woke up. Mom and Dad let me move back in with them and I talked to the "elders" in our congregation who helped me talk about what I had been doing. They could see I really regretted the choices I'd made and they helped me move passed them. They could have chose to remove me- I had shown complete disregard for everything I'd promised and hurt others and myself in the process, but I learned there (and several times since-I'm apparently a slow learner) that the elders want to help me. A person is only removed when they decide that they no longer want to be part of the congregation, and would rather live a life that isn't the one they previously committed to in their babtism.
I am SO grateful for the help the congregation and elders have given me in those times and in times like we are having now.
As an adult I go to meetings and study the bible, and still go in our bible door to door ministry. I'm passing on the gift my parents gave to me to my own children. The hope from what I've learned from the bible is so worth living a life that means swimming against the current(and fighting myself!) on a daily basis. Especially in times like these- losing my mom has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Losing her to cancer was an unimaginable horror. My dad,sister, niece, nephew and I were her primary caregivers that last month, and it was like watching her die in slow motion. A living nightmare for her and for us. The only thing that gets us through it is the hope we have from the bible that if we are loyal to God, we will see her again. When she wakes up she is going to be healthy and feel so much better again (Daniel 12:2 says there will be many of those asleep in the ground of dust who will wake up, these to indefinitely lasting life...). I refuse to let anything ever come between me and that hope ever again.
October 19, 2010
Mom died at 1:10 yesterday afternoon. I was at work when Renae called me with the news. I had just talked to Mom and told her I loved her minutes before she died. She could only breathe hard into the phone in response, but I choose to believe she heard me.
My co-workers have been so wonderful throughout this. Finding out at work was not what I wanted or anticipated. Cindy (other clerical support gal) was in the bathroom instantly with me, hugging me and telling me to just grab my stuff and head out. So, I went home, Derrick and I grabbed a couple things, and we left for Plains.
Walking in to my parent's living room and seeing my mom's body was so surreal. I will never beable to forget it. But at least she looked so much more at peace than she did the last time I saw her. All of us women, sisters, daughters, granddaughter took turns putting make-up on her, fixed her hair, put ear rings back on her. She looked like mom again when we were through- as beautiful as ever. I was glad when Dave made it in time with my kids too, so they could see her one more time in her home without the pain on her face. It was very hard for all of us when the man from the mortuary came and they put her in the bag and took her from the home. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more real.
We are having a viewing of the body on Wednesday. We still need to write an obituary... Steph and I want to make a slideshow for after her funeral, which is going to be on Saturday. In the meantime... I guess the main thing is to keep breathing.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
My co-workers have been so wonderful throughout this. Finding out at work was not what I wanted or anticipated. Cindy (other clerical support gal) was in the bathroom instantly with me, hugging me and telling me to just grab my stuff and head out. So, I went home, Derrick and I grabbed a couple things, and we left for Plains.
Walking in to my parent's living room and seeing my mom's body was so surreal. I will never beable to forget it. But at least she looked so much more at peace than she did the last time I saw her. All of us women, sisters, daughters, granddaughter took turns putting make-up on her, fixed her hair, put ear rings back on her. She looked like mom again when we were through- as beautiful as ever. I was glad when Dave made it in time with my kids too, so they could see her one more time in her home without the pain on her face. It was very hard for all of us when the man from the mortuary came and they put her in the bag and took her from the home. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more real.
We are having a viewing of the body on Wednesday. We still need to write an obituary... Steph and I want to make a slideshow for after her funeral, which is going to be on Saturday. In the meantime... I guess the main thing is to keep breathing.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
October 18, 2010
October 17, 2010
Cancer means... Watching her die in slow motion. Wondering about why I feel so cold and detached. Scared that it is going to end. Seeing every loved one's face strained and stressed as they walk through the door and see her again- even if it's only been a day. Watching her cheekbones show more and more, and her eyes opened up to somewhere else, not here. Seeing her only communication become little blinks when she pulls herself enough back to us to answer anything. Moments left being measured in days, hours, and breaths. Every goodbye is the forever from this side kind.
October 14, 2010
October 9, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
