Derrick and I had the weirdest fight yesterday. We had both just gotten home from work, and we were both tired and cranky. I thought HE should make dinner since I had been the one to stop at the store on my way home from work, and I had worked a longer and later shift than usual. He felt the I should be the one to make dinner, since he had taken care of the kids all day, as well as done his job at the office, and he felt like his day had been far harder than mine.
I made dinner, but I didn't LIKE making it. It wasn't even a big deal, it was an easy meal. I think we just were irritated at the principle of the thing. We didn't talk again for the rest of the night.
The funny thing is that he started to wash laundry right after dinner. He also cleaned the kitchen. Now you might think, "Hey, what a nice gesture!!!", but I could tell he was trying to prove a point, and that point is that he does EVERYTHING and gets no respect. SO, I went to the master bathroom, took a long bath, and read a book. I was NOT going to cave in and feel guilty!!!! NO! How many times have I worked AND watched kids AND got groceries AND made dinner AND cleaned up the kitchen AND done laundry. THOUSANDS. Not gonna feel guilty. And yet... I got out of the bath and proceeded to clean the bathroom. Then I cleaned the bedroom.
As soon as he came to bed we snuggled up and the fight was over without a word. This morning we woke up to a clean house and a lot of clean laundry, and no resolution of who actually DOES do the most around here. Best Fight Ever.
August 17, 2010
August 12, 2010
While the kids are gone...
My plan this morning involved cleaning the carpets in both the kids' rooms since they would have time to dry before the kids got home on Sunday. I went into Kloe's room and discovered that somehow in the 12 hours between when it was last cleaned and we left (most of which were spent sleeping), somehow a rock bomb went off in there. Seriously, there is rubble everywhere. What can I say? My girl loves rocks passionately- she has hundreds in her room, stored away in boxes in her closet, and sometimes she sets them free. Another thing she is passionate about are her lizards. The other day she was showing me a big size tic-tac container filled with white flaky stuff. Turns out she saves her lizards skin when they shed. Yeah, a little... um, eccentric? I asked her why she wanted to save the skins, and she said "to remember them!" I guess it isn't any weirder than saving your baby's first hair cut, right? :)
So, tomorrow includes cleaning up the rubble, and getting the kid's rooms mom-clean before they get back.
So, tomorrow includes cleaning up the rubble, and getting the kid's rooms mom-clean before they get back.
August 11, 2010
Driving With Kids
I just got back from Spokane from driving the kids to meet their aunt Tia. They get to go hang out in Seattle for the rest of the week with her and Uncle David. Needless to say, the kids were pleased with this situation.
On the drive to Spokane,it was just the kids and I. I began feel a bit irritated that a seemingly obvious features have not been offered to the general car-buying public.
Of course, what I'm talking about, is a sound proof window between the front seat and the back (with the option of either being opened or closed). Included with this, a speaker system so you could still hear your children in the back seat, but have VOLUME CONTROL.
I'd also submit as options, that a second window (and a third, depending on how many children you have) divide the back seat so that each child has their own private section of seat where no one can ever touch them (and when I say "no one", I of course mean the sibling who is has acquired the impressive skill of making his sister react mightily with the mere SUGGESTION that he COULD put a toe or finger on her side of the car, if he so chooses this dark path). When needed, the windows between children will have the option of becoming non-transparent, so no one will ever be able to exclaim "He's looking at me again MOMMMMM!!! (The volume control will also be beneficial in this situation).
I submit that some of the benefits to including this option to any car package would be:
- Fewer wrecks from parents checking in their rear view mirror covertly to see who really IS the kid who crossed the invisible line into the other kid's section first.
- Fewer wrecks from parents daring a quick, but deadly, glance into the back seat as a warning that your mother looking at you with that twitching eyeball is a lot more disturbing than your sibling looking at you.
-A bonus plus to the sectioned off back seat is that anyone choosing to emit noxious fumes would be the only one to suffer from that particular choice. Fumes= watery eyes and gagging, which produce an unsafe driving environment.
One more suggestion for this back seat: They will be made out of rubber, with no seams where food, crayons, or any other kid goo can get lodged. At the end of a trip a car can simply be hosed down and wiped off.
Now I know these are not new ideas. In fact, they are probably part of a collective dream of parents everywhere. The thing about this dream, is that it's the DREAM ITSELF that causes me to smile a little more easily as I drive down the road with kid chaos in the backseat. I know someday the real memories will be the conversations, and the times we've spent together as we've driven down the road. The chaos and my reaction to it will be the stuff of our family stories. So, I guess in reality, all I need for now is just the dream to get me through the louder moments in the car with my kids:) Time will take care of the rest.
On the drive to Spokane,it was just the kids and I. I began feel a bit irritated that a seemingly obvious features have not been offered to the general car-buying public.
Of course, what I'm talking about, is a sound proof window between the front seat and the back (with the option of either being opened or closed). Included with this, a speaker system so you could still hear your children in the back seat, but have VOLUME CONTROL.
I'd also submit as options, that a second window (and a third, depending on how many children you have) divide the back seat so that each child has their own private section of seat where no one can ever touch them (and when I say "no one", I of course mean the sibling who is has acquired the impressive skill of making his sister react mightily with the mere SUGGESTION that he COULD put a toe or finger on her side of the car, if he so chooses this dark path). When needed, the windows between children will have the option of becoming non-transparent, so no one will ever be able to exclaim "He's looking at me again MOMMMMM!!! (The volume control will also be beneficial in this situation).
I submit that some of the benefits to including this option to any car package would be:
- Fewer wrecks from parents checking in their rear view mirror covertly to see who really IS the kid who crossed the invisible line into the other kid's section first.
- Fewer wrecks from parents daring a quick, but deadly, glance into the back seat as a warning that your mother looking at you with that twitching eyeball is a lot more disturbing than your sibling looking at you.
-A bonus plus to the sectioned off back seat is that anyone choosing to emit noxious fumes would be the only one to suffer from that particular choice. Fumes= watery eyes and gagging, which produce an unsafe driving environment.
One more suggestion for this back seat: They will be made out of rubber, with no seams where food, crayons, or any other kid goo can get lodged. At the end of a trip a car can simply be hosed down and wiped off.
Now I know these are not new ideas. In fact, they are probably part of a collective dream of parents everywhere. The thing about this dream, is that it's the DREAM ITSELF that causes me to smile a little more easily as I drive down the road with kid chaos in the backseat. I know someday the real memories will be the conversations, and the times we've spent together as we've driven down the road. The chaos and my reaction to it will be the stuff of our family stories. So, I guess in reality, all I need for now is just the dream to get me through the louder moments in the car with my kids:) Time will take care of the rest.
July 26, 2010
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you...
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler
Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. ~Bill Meyer
We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt... ~Dorothy Day
Physical strength is measured by what we can carry; spiritual by what we can bear. ~Author Unknown
Positive anything is better than negative thinking. ~Elbert Hubbard
I am sure that nothing has such a decisive influence upon a man's course as his personal appearance, and not so much his appearance as his belief in its attractiveness or unattractiveness. ~Leo Tolstoy
A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror. ~Ken Keyes, Jr.
Anywhere you go liking everyone, everyone will be likeable. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler
Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. ~Bill Meyer
We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt... ~Dorothy Day
Physical strength is measured by what we can carry; spiritual by what we can bear. ~Author Unknown
Positive anything is better than negative thinking. ~Elbert Hubbard
I am sure that nothing has such a decisive influence upon a man's course as his personal appearance, and not so much his appearance as his belief in its attractiveness or unattractiveness. ~Leo Tolstoy
A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror. ~Ken Keyes, Jr.
Anywhere you go liking everyone, everyone will be likeable. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin
July 25, 2010
July 23, 2010
And on to better things...
So, let's talk about some happy stuff! The kids:) They are doing super dupe. So far this summer hasn't been to shabby at all in kidland. We are doing the usual going to gramma's house while I am at work, and it seems to be suiting everyone just fine. Derrin finally saved up enough to pay for his half of his WII just as the summer was starting. He has already become very proficient at the sports games that came with it, and is now gunning for Mario world. Both kids are TAN (as usual for them) from being outside so much. Kloe is anxiously awaiting to see if Lizzy's egg (one of them got moldy and had to be thrown out) is going to hatch. Come the first of September we shall see. Lizzy is currently with-egg again, so we are being super careful with her out of respect for her delicate condition. The kids had a lot of fun at the assembly (minus the head bonking at the pool) and this week they've been out in service a bunch:) Our CO is here this week. Have heard some very good talks that I have appreciated even in my funk:) This Saturday I am going to Plains to do some family portraits for my auntie and her family, but I will be coming back that night so I'll get to be home this weekend. This summer has been so full, and it seems like we've been away from home for a lot of the weekends, so it feels nice to get to be at home. There is always an up side.
Ode to Moodiness
I ran for the first time in a week this morning. It was the first time outside for the last two weeks. I had to MAKE myself go... with a lot of prodding from Derrick. I wanted to lay down on the couch, or putter around the house in slow motion instead. Scary, how fast progress goes away. It wasn't that the run itself was that much more difficult (although I did go at a slower pace), it was the wanting to run that suffered. I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that it is the 23rd of the month. I can be guaranteed at least ten days of negative thinking a month, if not more. But it feels worse this month. My carousel is riding much lower than usual. Every regret of the past, every person I may have insulted or hurt, every thing I may have written that could have been damaging is flying into my brain at the same moment. Things I have found a measure of peace with are back and kicking me in the stomach. Wrong self-injurious thoughts, and a tasteless self-pity. Worry over things I can't change are knocking on my door. I am 34 years old! I'm supposed to be over this crap by now, or at least I should have figured out some way to control this!
I went to meeting last night and felt like I was both in a fog, and yet twitching to get out of there. I looked around at everyone else, and saw that they were all having animated conversations, showing the love to each other that we are supposed to. We just got back from the assembly Monday- driving back I felt so confident that I would be able to really make some big steps forward. I want to do better. I still think in a lot of ways I can do better. But some things feel so out of my control. There are days when I am driving that my heart feels like it is going to jump out of my chest and I am going to start ramming my car into other drivers if they don't get out of my way, and other times when I'm driving in a fog completely unaware of the time. Days when I get to the hall and feel like smiling at everybody and actually have the nerve to approach others, but then times where I'd rather slip on a cloak of invisibility because I feel absolutely empty inside. Sometimes it has to do with hormones. Sometimes I don't know WHY it's one way or the other. All I know is that the little bit of control I have over it is RUNNING. I need to start fighting harder for that little bit of control again. It really has been a couple crazy weeks, but I could have fought harder to run at times that maybe weren't as convenient or easy. Sleeping in an hour and a half longer is not worth feeling this way. It is worth being a little too hot while running during the late part of the day to not feel this way.
I went to meeting last night and felt like I was both in a fog, and yet twitching to get out of there. I looked around at everyone else, and saw that they were all having animated conversations, showing the love to each other that we are supposed to. We just got back from the assembly Monday- driving back I felt so confident that I would be able to really make some big steps forward. I want to do better. I still think in a lot of ways I can do better. But some things feel so out of my control. There are days when I am driving that my heart feels like it is going to jump out of my chest and I am going to start ramming my car into other drivers if they don't get out of my way, and other times when I'm driving in a fog completely unaware of the time. Days when I get to the hall and feel like smiling at everybody and actually have the nerve to approach others, but then times where I'd rather slip on a cloak of invisibility because I feel absolutely empty inside. Sometimes it has to do with hormones. Sometimes I don't know WHY it's one way or the other. All I know is that the little bit of control I have over it is RUNNING. I need to start fighting harder for that little bit of control again. It really has been a couple crazy weeks, but I could have fought harder to run at times that maybe weren't as convenient or easy. Sleeping in an hour and a half longer is not worth feeling this way. It is worth being a little too hot while running during the late part of the day to not feel this way.
Not Good
Last week we got the news from the Plains Clinic (where Mom is seeing Dr. Dry now), that her CEA was down the around 600. Initially I was skeptical, thinking that we needed to wait until we heard what the levels measured out as at the Missoula clinic. But I guess we all needed some hope. We all decided it was because of how well she'd stuck to her regiment while staying at Renae's after Dad's heart surgery, and that all of the work had actually paid off. I think we all felt pretty relieved about it.
Just got a call from Mom awhile ago. The CEA count in Missoula is 1947. It has actually gone up pretty dramatically since last time it was checked in Missoula. I had chalked up my suspicions of cancer in her stomach as an over reaction (I was pretty high-strung during that whole time period) since her numbers had apparently went down, but now I don't know.
Just got a call from Mom awhile ago. The CEA count in Missoula is 1947. It has actually gone up pretty dramatically since last time it was checked in Missoula. I had chalked up my suspicions of cancer in her stomach as an over reaction (I was pretty high-strung during that whole time period) since her numbers had apparently went down, but now I don't know.
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