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We survived the month! Barely.... hanging on by our fingernails and racing time, but now we are on day one of a new UNcrazy month.  Sure, we are surrounded by boxes, and Derrin is the only one whose bed is put together, but all of that is trivial, and can be leisurely chipped away at.

The last four days were about fixing up the old house for renters.  I guess when you live somewhere for ten years, you can become a bit blind to everything that needs to be fixed up.  Every room needed paint.  All the trim and doors needed paint.  All the grout in the whole place (so, so much grout) needed to be thoroughly scrubbed.  And then there was just the regular cleaning you need to do when moving on.  Four days was a tight fit for everything that happened, but we passed inspection with our property management company, so now we are here at the new place and we can try to forget the whole thing ever happened.

Except for somehow in this month, I did something to my shoulder (it could have been the non-stop painting/scrubbing).  My hand has been going numb all month, and now I have shooting pains going down my shoulder, through my arm and bypassing my numb hand to land into my fingertips.  Weird.  My sis suggested a masseuse yesterday, and Derrick suggested his chiropractor "Fabio" (nick-named for his flowing locks and romance novel good looks- his real name is Tony), and I'm thinking I may be calling one or the other today.

I'm liking it at our new place.  It has amazing natural light (or other house could feel pretty dark).  I like that I can't see into any one's windows (although I can see traffic going by on Reserve, but that isn't bothering me like I thought it might).  I very much like that my couches finally made it here, with their soft, never letting you get up again, cushions.  I like that it is already feeling like a home.

As soon as we get the box population down, I will post a few pics.

Moving Beyond

We are so close to being done with this whole moving, fixing up the new place,and then fixing up the old place for the new renters thing.  So.very.close.

Sabrina and DezNik came over to help me with cleaning/painting the old place today.  Soooo much help.  Sabrina is such a fast painter. Daaaang.  She knocked out about 45% of what needs to get done in one day.  And DezNik made my refrigerator look like new.  Awesome- that was one of my most dreaded jobs over there.

While we were getting ready to leave, the subject of a wedding came up.  The whole wedding photography thing was sure to follow.  I have to admit, it's a bit of a sore subject with me.

It's one of those topics where I need to sort of stand outside myself and watch myself talk about it.  Obviously (at least to anyone who has ever heard me rant), I've been a bit hurt and burnt by the whole subject.  I'm not going to make this post be another rant about the whole thing.

Tonight, I watched myself rant (I didn't stop myself though), and I realized I've turned some corner into bitterness.  I don't want that bitterness to live inside me, and I don't even realize it's there until I automatically develop verbal diarrhea when the subject comes up.  The truth is, I do believe everything I am saying is true.  The truth also is, I don't want to care so much.  I want to release all of those hurt feelings that propel the words.

I need to move on.  I've implemented a plan to avoid anymore awkward/either being used or looking like a jerk situations.  Now, I need to just more beyond any of the stuff that helped me develop my little rants in the first place. 

First World Problem (Moving On)

We are in the process of moving.  What started out as a frivolous, sorta hair-brained idea late this summer actually panned out, and now we are in the midst of the resulting craziness.

We aren't leaving town.  Actually, we are moving into the dead center of it.  We've had a rental there for years, and our renters moved out about a month ago so there was a vacancy.  The house itself is not as nice as the house we live in now, and the neighborhood also is not as nice.  BUT, what it does have is a huge yard.  A huge yard means possibilities.  Possibilities of what, you say?  Possibly a shop for Derrick.  Possibly an art studio for me.  The art studio idea was what started us on this month of insanity.  Darn you Pinterest, and all of your tempting ideas!!!  There was also the reality of looking out our windows and actually not being able to look right into our neighbor's windows (and vice versa).

After pondering the art studio idea for months, the niggling idea popped out of my mouth that we should rent our much loved house that we built ten years ago and move to the place with the big yard.  Surprisingly, Derrick said yes (although he had caveats and didn't exactly jump at the idea.... to be fair, it will save us a fair chunk of change every month...).  I think partially the reason he said yes was the possibilities of renting our house out at this time of year seemed slim.  In reality, it rented in less than a week after putting it up.  The first people who looked at it scooped it up.

The whole "be careful what you wish for" was ringing true for me.  It had been a long time since I'd been to the property I'd talked my husband into moving to.  After the property management called to say our house was rented, we visited the new property.  It was sooo much worse then the last time I had been there.  Oh man.  It was about then that the reality of the situation collided with the dream.  I spent the next two days spiraling in and out of panic attack mode, trying to get out of the whole thing (I'm sure this was a fun time for Derrick.  Nothing like trying to talk your wife back in to her own hair brained idea).  Somehow we ended up NOT getting out of it.  My husband is very much a 'let your yes mean yes' kind of person, and somehow found it distasteful to mess up the plans of the people coming from Washington state who were now dependent on renting our house to make their plans work out. Naw, the truth is he gave me one more chance to really change my mind, and it turns out I too thought it would be pretty rotten to back out at that point.  So onward we went.

I didn't take before pictures of the new house, and I am very much regretting it.  We've worked so hard the last two weeks remaking that disaster into our new home, and I have to say it is looking pretty awesome.  If there is a wall in there, it has been painted.  If there is a scrap of floor in there, it has received new flooring. We channeled all of our feelings of impending doom (well, those were my feelings about the whole thing-  Derrick had his own way of describing the situation) into fixing that place up.  The yard itself will need some serious love come Spring.  We should be finished with the remodel by the end of this week, and then next week we will be here at the little house we built, packing it all up to move out.  We should be completely moved out by next weekend, and then the following week we will be fixing up odds and ends for the new renters moving in.

Change, right?  It's scary, but it's also a new adventure for us.

First Days

Today was the first day of high school for Derrin.  He's going to be fifteen next month.  Holy moly.

He came home pretty excited about his classes.  He says both of his computer science teachers are super nerds.  This is a description rendering the most significant amount of approval that my son can give.  Here's to hoping for a good year for him!

We will be starting home school with Kloe next Monday.  I found a pretty good curiculum online, and it seems to give a lot of parental control in deciding scheduling as well as difficulty level.  Kloe is mildly interested in how it will go.

I think she is still a bit bummed out about not returning to regular school.  I'm really really hoping that I can turn that around for her.  She starts piano lessons next Tuesday, which is something she has been wanting to do for awhile.  I'm thinking that will amp up her excitement level.  We have some other fun plans to implement throughout the week as well, so hoping for a good year.  Hope hope hope hope.

Art journal entry

Idea Bank Entry...

So, since my brain isn't kicking out any ideas, I think I am going to finally delve into the "Idea Bank".  Without further ado, I give you my first manufactured topic:

Idea Bank Topic: Skincare Routine.
Tell us about your favorite products.  Do you switch up your routine for lady’s night out or a date with your significant other/spouse? Include your favorite washes, toners, serums, and makeup.

My momma always had beautiful skin.  Even in her 70's, her skin remained smooth, clear and enviable.  My sister and I have always hoped that we inherited her skin. We've decided Mom had three things working in her skin's favor.

The first was good genetics.  Looking at pictures of her Dad, it is clear she inherited her pretty skin from him.

The second thing working for her was she honestly did not like spending too much time in the sun.  I don't ever remember seeing her with a tan. 

The third thing was something she did for herself:  She always had a great skin care routine.  She never ever went to bed with make up on her face.  For eye makeup removal, she used Vaseline always.  All of the other products she used seemed to change throughout the years; she seemed to try every thing out there.  The one thing that remained constant was the effort she put forth.

With Mom as inspiration (plus the fact that she always had awesome face stuff to try), I've pretty much always had a good skin care routine.  When I was younger, I used things like Noxzema (ouch), and St. Ives Apricot Scrub.  When I had break outs, there were moments of desperation when I would boil some water, and then steam my face to "open my pores".  I don't know if it actually worked, but it calmed me down to have some sort of Fix It in my skin care arsenal.

These days, my routine is very basic.  My favorite product is plain old witch hazel.   The brand I used is T.N. Dickinson's.   I've been using this stuff for about the last four years, and I LOVE it.  It helps to reduce redness,  clear up breakouts, and make pores look smaller.  I know this should just be considered as a toner, but I use it for the whole kabang- no face wash for me these days.  By just using the witch hazel, I get clean skin without any of the dryness that a lot of other cleansers have caused.

About three times a week, I exfoliate.  I usually try to do this at night so my face will have a chance to get over any redness by morning.  I've used a lot of different exfoliation products over the years.  It's been one thing I've been willing to spend a little more money on, because I can tell a huge difference in my skin when I keep it exfoliated.  What I use these days is by far the best I've found.   It is...(drum roll please)... Coconut oil and baking soda.  This combo makes my skin feel so smooth and helps keep it clear.

I always use some sort of sunscreen.  The only requirements I need from it are that it is face friendly and won't make me break out.  These days, I'm using a powder sunscreen that I apply after my makeup.

I've never really been faithful to any specific moisturizer, but lately I've found a few things I'm liking.  I've been using InstaNatural Vitamin C Serum for the last 6 months.  When I use it, my skin looks brighter.

Derrick bought me a gift certificate to Skin Chic for our anniversary this year.  I've always steered clear of that place because it's stuff is crazy expensive, and I was afraid if I actually tried any of it I might get hooked.  I went in for an amazing facial, and came out with a bunch of samples.  One of them worked especially well for me:  Epionce Renewal Cream.  I broke down and bought it, which was a big deal for my frugal self.  Worth it.  My pores look much nicer, and it helps with some of my fine lines.

Since trying new make up out is fun, I haven't developed a lot of loyalties with it.  I tend to stick with a very neutral pallet- lots of browns and coppers for my eyes.  Every once in awhile I will try to spice it up for a night out, but I rarely just love the results.  Basic and neutral just does the trick for me.  My foundation choices always have sunscreen in them, for that extra layer of protection.  I like a sheer red lip color.

That pretty much wraps up my skincare routine.

Den of Sickness

Derrick is super sick again.  This time it is the throwing up, white and shaking like a leaf kind of sick.  Last time it was the sore throat, fever, shaking like a leaf kind of sick (only a week ago).  Derrin ended up with the fever /sore throat today too.  We are the den of sickness around here.

Telling people you are living in the den of sickness does not make them giggle like it does me.  Just fyi (to myself) for future reference.

I'm not afraid of getting sick.

The last time I was super sick was after going to Mexico to visit Derrick's parents, which was almost two years ago.  I ended up with bronchitis and two ear infections, and Kloe ended up with food poisoning.

The special story we like to spring on unsuspecting friends has to do with that flight home from Mexico, when I (bronchitis girl, so sick I could barely sit there) was sitting with Kloe (food poisoning girl, destined to vomit both on the way up (which I was prepared for), and on the way down (which I was NOT prepared for)... (and yes, I realized that that was a parentheses with in a parenthesis..... sometimes you should just expect this blog to be an English nightmare!!)  We ended that flight with both of us covered with... unpleasantness.

We had a lay over in Houston though, so at least we were able to soak our clothes off before then last flight home the next morning.

Anyways, poor Derrick has been sick for way too long.  I'm feeling bad for him... he'd hoped he'd managed to mostly kick it before this last bit started kicking him back.

Whenever he gets this sick, it is very unsettling for me.  I'm too used to him being the strong one around here.  Of course I can rise to the occasion to do everything that needs to be done.... but I very much prefer for him to be feeling good, and taking the lead in our life (I'm sure somewhere inside me, the fifteen year old feminist is screaming at me for that statement).

Poor guy needs to get better, and not just because I need him to.

The Ol' Switcheroo

It is currently March 16th.  Four more days until Spring is officially here.

We have almost officially survived winter in Montana, once again.

It actually has been a very mild winter.  It began looking like Spring more than a month ago, but I didn't believe it was real.  I was fairly certain this was Montana playing a big joke on us, tricking all of our Spring flowers to start growing too early so It could drop it's temperature on their tender baby green growth and kill them all dead.

Spring without Spring flowers, Montana's cruel idea of a joke.

I was so sure that was going to be the outcome that I buried all of my premature baby crocuses and tulips under mounds of old leaves last month. This morning I saw all my baby plants have fought their way out of their unnecessary protective blanket, defiantly showing me they will not stand for this over guarded stance I have taken for them.

So be it.  They are ready now.

Speaking of protective blankets and guarded stances, we have decided to try a different approach to Kloe's Middle School experience.  Starting next Fall, we are going to give home school a try.

Academically, she is doing great in school this year; all A's and B's and nothing but praise from all of her teachers.  She is growing up, and is a very funny kid.  I truly enjoy being around her most of the time.  But I can also see the social pressure pushing in on her, trying to shape and mold some of her attitudes on life.  I just can't stand the idea of her specialness being shaped into this idea of Typical American Teenager.  Can. Not. Stand. It.

I don't know if it's just a difference of temperament between Derrin and Kloe that has allowed him to get through Middle School without the outward manifestation of The Social Pressure Molding.   Maybe Middle School is harder on girls?  Maybe it is easier for me to recognize in my daughter because I had that same thing trying to shape me once upon a time ago.

We have offered Derrin the option of home school next year as well, but he has already enrolled in High School and is pretty excited about his classes.  But the option remains open.

What do we hope to achieve with home school versus public school?

My biggest goal is to provide an environment where she will be able to grow into the best version of herself.

She is naturally drawn to singing, writing, and art.  I'm hoping that by encouraging growth in those areas, it will help her form an idea of self-identity that has nothing to do with trying to fit in and be like everyone else.


I've been doing a lot of self-reflection during this decision.  Am I asking more from my daughter than I ask of myself?  It isn't fair to expect her to do the work of being her best self if I am not also doing the work of being my best self.

Self-discipline is going to be the quality that keeps this thing afloat or sinks it.  The only way I can expect her to have self-discipline is if I also have it in my own life.

Next fall I won't be going back the seasonal job I've worked the last six years.  I'll be home with Kloe, helping with home school.  I'll have a separate goal list for myself.

I've been looking into different online home school programs.  One of the that looks promising combines 7th and 8th grade.

My ideal/dream week of home school would look like this:

• Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday:  Get up at 7, get ready for the day.  Start school by 8.  Do the basic school stuff for about three-four hours. 

Other Ideas:

• Do something physically active, like play basketball (she mentioned that when we first discussed this with her), go on walks, see if she can do some things at my gym with me.
• Enroll her in an art class or have a voice coach once a week.
• Schedule definite times throughout the week to hang out with her friends, and plan on doing some traveling to make that happen.
• Spend more time with family... see if she can hang out with Aunt Renae, and Lyndsay.
• Have an actual mid-week service day that we can spend together.
• Derrick offered to spend more time teaching her how to play golf.
• She can also work in his office throughout the week to make some money.
• We can go on field trips together.
• Things I would love to share with her: Photography, painting, working with stained glass, making jewelery, and anything else we can dream up together.

Who knows how it will work out.  I've heard positive and negative experiences from different ones who have done it.  I'm hoping that by exploring ideas and defining the results we want, as well as acknowledging that we will have challenges, we'll have a better chance of aligning our hopes with what becomes reality.