Blogging from the Sick One

So this is a blog coming from a still sick mind, and therefore is going to be long and drawn out. My brain and equilibrium (as well as my lungs), seem to have resisted my non-stop good wishes towards wellness. My own wellness, that is. My body is reminding me that in this last year I have abandoned all of my efforts to really take care of it. Vitamins, while living cozily in my cupboards, have not been participating in my body’s health. The gym, while being paid for automatically for months, has not been a participant in making my body have the will to live. I discovered the double stack cheeseburger at Wendy’s a couple months ago, and have indulged (with a guilty side salad) at least two or three times a week for lunch ever since. I started drinking soda again after literally YEARS of abstinence. My attitude about my own health was an unconcerned one.

I’m not really a big bragger. Things I do brag about include: My kids (isn’t that allowed though?), My awesome thrift shopping abilities (I am almost superhuman in this department. No Jokes.), AND, My awesome immune system. Every year when Derrick and the kids get sick, guess who is always the last woman standing? Year after year of this tends to build the old confidence. I admit it, I was smug in my seeming immunity. I have never even had the chicken pox! HELLO! Kloe just had them a couple months ago, and guess who walked away unscathed yet again?

Enter ten days ago (TEN!), it is a Sunday morning, and I am waking up with a pounding headache that is not helped by the fact that I am shivering uncontrollably. I am in denial that anything serious is going on. I even manage to eventually shower and pull myself together to go to the hospital later when my friend’s have an accident (everything turned out okay there), but I am careful not to breathe on anyone just in case. The next day Derrick leaves for an out of town job- he’s not going to be back until FRIDAY. I wake with a fever, a body that is aching and chilled, but I am confident the ol’ immune system is gonna kick in any second. Enter day three. Actually go back a couple hours to the middle of the night as I lay there seeing red spots, having crazy fever dreams while sweating so much that I finally convince my body that it has to get up and change. Twice. It turns out my body’s strength of will is quite a lot stronger than my mind’s when it is sick. It didn’t want to do ANYTHING I told it too. Even if it was the one that wanted something! The next couple days included: Somehow getting the kids off to school (mostly they just got themselves dressed and fed and then patted me on the head as they walked out the door), and then I would lay on the couch curled into a sweaty little ball. My body would tell my mind it was thirsty. My mind would tell my body to get something to drink. My body would say NO WAY because it knew the sheer hell of hurti-freeziness that it would have to pay up front for the drink. But it wouldn’t leave my mind alone about the thirstiness. To quiet the mind and body, I watched hours of House. I watched the same episode over and over because I couldn’t follow the story. I still don’t really know what that episode was about. The kids finally came home from school and Derrin got me something to drink, which I was eternally grateful for. They made sandwiches for dinner.

The next day I hilariously thought I should try to go to work. Kathrine drove me there and picked me back up exactly twenty minutes later. As soon as I hit the couch, it was a repeat of the day before. Thursday was the same. Friday I got super clever and decided to go to work full of Tylenol and Robuttison. Answering phones that day, and trying to inform people about our programs was interesting to say the least. I somehow got disconnected several times… whether I hung up on them or they hung up on me I can’t say.

When I got home I called my sister to cry on her shoulder about how sick I was and about what a horrible day I had just had at work. She stopped me and asked why I was talking so funny. Turns out I was talking much slower than normal. Well, that was just great! I had just spent an entire day at work, answering phones in crazy slow motion voice! I called up my supervisor to tell her how upset I was about working under the influence of cold medicine, but then I hung up on her too. That was it. I gave up at that point.

Derrick came home that night, but he had to leave the very next day to see his brother. He took Derrin with him. Shannon and Phil came and took Kloe home with them (THANK YOU!) so she could actually go outside and play instead of staying inside with nearly dead mommy(sounds like an inaction figure). I lay on the couch in my sweaty little ball, shivering and being thirsty. When it was time to eat, I would take Robuttison and in awhile I could get something (in slow motion). Anyways, you get the picture. Sunday came and went, and I still had a fever. Monday a new symptom arrived in the form of the inability to breathe. By that time Derrick was home, and he made an appointment with the doctor. Even though she really helped, and it was the turning point for the good, her breathing treatment nearly knocked me off the rest of the way. On the way home I lay in the passenger side gasping for breath, and not being able to get any air at ALL. It was seriously scary! He took me home to his mom, who made sure I took my medicine all day long (every half hour), PLUS she gave me all the juice and water I could drink. This was the healing day.

That whole night I heard the death rattle in my lungs, and I knew it would only get worse and worse until I gave into the need to cough. I would fight as long as possible, but it was inevitable. I have to say my abs feel firmer than they have in years.

Yesterday I called in sick again, and laid on the couch, but it was getting better. By night I was able to take Derrin to his guitar lesson, although he told me that I looked sick and he wanted Gramma to take him. Ah, little boys don’t know the magic of make-up (to hide the dead skin look), cute hats (to hide the flat, haven’t fixed in a week hair), and big sweaters (to hide the shivering). The point is, I was TIRED of being sick, and enough was enough.

I went to work today. Even though I am not 100% (I still am on this darned couch, not quite up to cleaning the house, or doing the stacks of laundry), it is definitely getting better. I even lost about five pounds, although it could be the bad kind of weight loss that comes from not moving for days at a time. Maybe my appetite will stay minimal for awhile.

Anyways, that is my story about being sick. Take is as a cautionary one. It is telling you to TAKE CARE of yourself and also DON’T BRAG or being overconfident in your body’s ability to stay healthy. If I can leave you (and myself) with any lesson, let it be those.

Things you should not do.

1. Okay, as this is the SECOND time I am going to write this, I will say the number one thing you should NOT do is just assume when you hit the post button at the bottom of your blog that it will actually post your blog. Most likely you will get a blank screen and the inability to go back to anything you have just typed...

2. Something I learned last night- You should NOT put the inner sanctum of your crock pot on a stove burner thinking it should be heat safe since it handles boiling soup for hours at a time. It is simply not so.

3. You should NEVER go to CostCo at 5 or 6 at night thinking you will actually find a parking place. You are in for some big ol' disappointment right about then.

4. Never expect to write anything or send an email at the local library's internet cafe. For one, the internet connection is at a bare crawl maximum, probably designed to discourage loitering from the local weirdos. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working. Because for two, all of the local weirdos are there for one reason: To stare at YOU, their new victim to steal an identity from or just plain murder.

5. Never throw the cat in the garage at three in the morning because he won't stop biting you and waking up the kids. If you do, just make sure to put the litter box out too.

6. Back to the library- never think you can read one of the cool magazines they have just laying around there. This one is tricky and unexpected because even though they have the cushy leather chairs there, just begging you to sit in them to read the magazine, they also have the previously mentioned weirdos. One of who is going to sit in the chair next to you. And he will have terets. And he will hurt insults at your mother and discuss bodily functions in a random non-direct manner. And you will feel compelled to sit there for at least ten minutes because you don't want to hurt his feelings by leaving.

7. You should NEVER eat all of the marshmallows out of the bag of Marshmallow Maities (the cheap version of lucky charms). You will feel sick. Your children will hate you at breakfast the next morning when they are eatting their plain ol' Maities.

8. After not ice-skating for at least ten years or so, you should not decide after ten minutes of re-breaking in time that you are indeed the ice-skating viturtuoso that you've always suspected you were. You really shouldn't decide that it is time for speed skating around the rink before you have fully remembered how to use the toe pick. And you should not do all of this with your much loved camera hanging around your neck. To do so will mean that you will have to sacrifice your body to save the camera when the toe pick will catch you off gaurd (as was inevitable), while you are going around the sharper corner of the ring. Pure mangling of the said body will result. On the brighter side of this, you will meet new friends as fellow skaters crouch around you to see if you still have a pulse.

5 Questions

1. What is your favorite memory from childhood? A highlight for sure would be the day my mom bought me my cabbage patch doll. Man, I LOVED that doll- named her Georgina "Joe" and brought her to school with my every day for a least a couple years.




2. How did you get into photography & why do you like it so much? The first time I remember really wanting a camera I was probably around 4 years old. My brother Danny bought me a really cool toy one, but it couldn't take real pictures and that was disappointing. I remember borrowing cameras and setting up a "studio" in our upstairs hallway and doing the lighting with lamps, flashlights, and any other lightsource we could find- Heidi, Shaun and I would take turns taking pics and being the models. I was a compulsive picture taker. When Derrick and I got married, I inherited his 35mm Canon and I fell in love with it as well and started doing senior portraits of any and all 18 year olds I knew, then somehow weddings got thrown into the mix... It all seemed to happen pretty naturally.



3. If you could only save 3 things in a house fire, what would they be? No need to list your family because they are already safe. Ok... Well, of course I would save all of my photo albums (all of the files on my computer are safely backed up on a hard drive in our fire safe), and I would save our cat Anikan... and if I could use my super powers I would save my kitchen table.



4. Where would you most like to go on vacation? I YEARN to go to Europe with Derrick with nothing but backpacks and a train pass. We would meander across Italy and Greece and maybe switch gears with Scotland and Ireland.



5. What's a question you hate being asked? I hate commands posed as questions such as: Are you sure you really want to eat that? meaning "don't eat that" (an old boyfriend asked me that once when I ordered an ice cream cone at dairy queen once and it was a deal breaker for me)

I Hate Winter

Here it is, November 11th, at 4:00 in the afternoon and it is GREY and looking like dusk out there. AHHHH. Why did my ancestors decide that Montana was the place to be??? Did they like to be cold? Did they have an overabundance of vitamin D??? Where they masochistic?? Who knows. All I know is that I wish I had a rich friend who lived in Hawaii who was just dying to buy me a ticket to visit right now....

Where is my Hawaiian friend?

The Forty Dollar Goldfish

So, I was reading through some old blogs of mine, when I noticed the one about when my goldfish Fred died. I had just bought him a goldfish wife, who we hadn't named yet. She got the unfortunate name of "Fred's Widow" when he died within days of her purchase. I am sure she didn't care though.

What she might have cared about is the fact that by early winter I still had not taken her out of our little front yard pond. I would peek in now and then and say such things as,"I hope that little fish is okay!" or, "Hmm. I am afraid her chances INSIDE are much worse than this ice encrusted pond". I, after all, had unintentially murdered at least six of her goldfish brethren the winter before in an attempt to keep them alive inside. My lesson was learned. Rachel is a fish killer. But an apologetic one.

My brother Danny heard about my poor little fish one day when I was wondering out loud how long a fish can be frozen solid and yet still come back to life at Spring. Danny is good with fish. He manages to keep them alive for long periods of time. Clearly not a family trait. He volunteered to take my little goldfish into his fishtank, where he gave Fred's widow a lovely home for many months.

About a month ago she wore out her welcome. She grew ENORMOUSLY under his loving care. She is the size of an edible perch. Not only that, but she had taken to the charming habit of eating Danny's other fish. As snacks. It was time for Fred's Widow to come home.

I picked her up last weekend, determined not to kill her after the love and attention my bro put into keeping her alive. It is again too cold to put her in the pond, and she is much too big for a bowl. I had to buy a tank. Equipped with filter and heater. Fred's Widow is now living large (for a fifty cent goldfish bought with the intent of keeping another goldfish company who died within DAYS of her purchase...). And that is how my fifty cent goldfish turned into a forty dollar goldfish.

Some Nuggets of Life

Since I haven't posted a blog for a long while, and I have a couple of minutes to kill this morning, I've decided to tell a little of what is going on in my life. I will also share a couple little nuggets of wisdom that I possess that I didn't just a few short weeks ago.

First for a nugget of truth: if you ever decide to wash your crocs (you know, the little colorful, elfin shoes you see on everyone these days), and you decide that washing them in the washing machine is the way to go, do NOT dry them in the dryer afterwards. I recently tried this maneuver on Derrin's blue crocs, and when they came out they literally could only fit a real elf. Too short for a seven year old's foot and yet far too wide for a two year old child's foot, I believe the only place these shoes would really belong is as a jaunty novelty item in my flower garden.

Now for something that is new in my life: both my children are in school now! For the first time in eight year I now have a lot of long periods of silence throughout my day. I know I should be more sentimental about my baby being old enough to be in kindergarden, BUT, the correct adjective for me is a juxteposition of both jubulant and mellow (in a good way). Things are running a little more smoothly for me, for instance, it is only 10:30 in the morning and my house is already clean and it will REMAIN that way until at least 3:20. That, my sisters, is celebration worthy. In my own defense, I have to say that Kloe was not one of those clingy little ones who couldn't bear to leave her mommy either. There was one brief moment on the first real day of school when I walked her into the playground to find the right line of kindergardeners to get into when I could tell we both were feeling some sad emotions. Just as I spotted her line, she hugged me fiercely and said,"Momma, I am going to MISS you today!!" I admit, I got a little choked up. I was about to say something reassuring back to her, when she saw her teacher. Before the words had even left my mouth, my baby girl had broke and run for me to her teacher and had assumed hugging her instead. She never even looked back! She got into the front of the line, all the while gazing adoringly at her teacher. I went up to her, made her hug me goodbye, and walked to the middle of the playground where I watched the line until they all disappeared into the school. I admit I was a little teary eyed. That lasted all until I got to my favorite little coffee shop where I ordered my favorite coffee without ANY shouting in the background about hot chocolate or muffins. Just the sweet smell of coffee, the sound of the radio, and my own thoughts to entertain. Jubilant and mellow.

Now for the second little nugget that I have learned: all the stuff I have been blaming on the kids for the last couple years, like "I can't work out until the kids are in school" or "the reason it takes me so long to clean the house and do the laundry is because of the constant distraction of the KIDS"... well, it turns out that is not so true. The kids have been in school for almost two weeks, and how many times have I gone to the gym? Nada, not even once! Tomorrow is the beginning day, I am just sure of it. And as for the house... well, yes, it is clean this morning. But my confession for that is that we are in the middle of trying to sell the house, and at 8:30 this morning our realator called me and said we are having people coming over to see the house at 10:30. I flew into high gear and got done what would have taken me most of the day normally because... turns out the real problem is that I am easily distracted if I don't have some heavy duty reason to get the job done in an expediant fashion. Not the kids fault at all.

Besides all of that, what has been going on in my life? You may want to know how my momma is doing. She is doing much better. We had another nasty experience with chemo this summer and she got really sick again, but things are definately on the upturn, which is a great relief:)

Also, I've been able to continue my photography, and hope to keep doing more with it. We have our new website up at amberdragonfly.net, which I am really happy about. We have a bunch more pictures waiting to go into the gallery, which should happen soon- our programmer is a pretty busy guy so we have to wait for him to get a little bit of free time.

So, that is me in a nutshell right now. I miss all you guys, and hope to either see you or get to hear from you soon!!!

Lady and the Shrimp

First of all, I am back home. Yeah. So very happy. Actually, the sun is shining and it is kinda pretty out there.

The night before we left Manzanillo (nice transition, huh?), Derrick, Tia and I went out for one last dinner in Mexico. We went to a restaurant on the beach called "Charlie's Place". Our waiter was Rico Suave, smooth as silk, with love in his eye for my sis-in-law, an affinity for calling me "Lady", as if that were my name, and an expertise in ignoring my husband, except for when it was time to give him the bill at the end.

There was a moment during the meal that should have made my ears tingle or my intuition spark, or just somehow should have made me question the wisdom of eating my meal.

I had drank two Mishaladas (Corona with a lotta lime juice) by the time I ordered the garlic shrimp. Derrick ordered fajitas, and Tara ordered Orange Shrimp. I have to say, my meal was delicious- huge shrimp for around 100 pesos.

When Rico came around for the "How good is it" check up, he hovered around Tia for a couple minutes, chatting about this and that (she is fluent in Spanish, so I have no idea what they were talking about), and then he asked her in english how she liked her meal. She replied that it was good. He didn't even bother asking Derrick about his meal. He turned his attention to me for one second, "So Lady, how is YOUR meal?" I replied that it was delicious.

And then the "shoulda got my attention moment" happened. He stopped, looked me in the eye and said, "Really??" and I don't mean as in "really, I am happy your food is good", but more as in"REALLY? What a complete and utter surprise, I was pretty sure we were going to be carting you out of here in a body bag... cuz that is what I usually aim for in my LADIES..." But, the shrimp was REALLY good... so when he left our table, I teased Tia about about him for a second, mocked how he had said "Really?!?" to me, and scarfed down the whole meal. I practically licked the plate. I'm pretty sure I stole a couple of Tia's shrimp when she wasn't looking.

Enter two o'clock in the morning when I am tossing and turning, dreaming about weird things happening in my stomach. You know that horrible moment when you awake a night a realise that it is going to be ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS. Oh no. I laid really still for awhile. But then I realised that there was no fighting it. I gave myself over to the Beast of Food Poisoning.

I will spare you the details. I'm pretty sure you've all been there. By the next morning I was a wrung out rag of a Lady, who will not be eating shrimp again any time soon.

Poor Derrick had to do all of our packing for the trip home (Kathrine packed for the kids, THANK YOU KATHRINE!!!). Derrick and Tia (maybe her shrimp was from a different pot?) went to the pharmicia and got me some medicine to help me make the two flights home.

We left for the airport at 1:30 and I drug on through the next 10 hours by laying on benches in the airport with my head on Derrick's lap, sleeping with my head on Dave's shoulder during the flights (Derrick was on kid patrol), and basically just being in survival mode til we got home. I have to say, I wouldn't have made it without Derrick, Dave, Kathrine and Tia carrying me along.

So to conclude my story, I lived. And I really am glad to be home!

My Bum in the Sun

One of the first rules you hear about in Mexico is don..t drink the water. One of the second rules probably might be: don..t eat sushi in ....Mexico..... We just went to Senor Sushi..s. The only one I could talk into going with me was Derrick, and he swears it will be the last crazy food expedition he will ever go on with me (that goes against his gut instinct) if we both end up sick tonight with food poisoning. The Miso soup was to DIE for. I took pictures, don..t you worry.
The thing is, that while I love ..Mexico.. (more specifically I love ME in ....Mexico....), I can not tolerate the food down here very well. Every time we eat out I get semi-sick. We have spent most of the week shopping for groceries and just eating at home for that very reason. I have eaten real Mexican fare exactly two times here, and both times my stomach was not loving me. We actually ate at a Burger King here. How lame is that? I even hate that place in the states. ....

We went deep sea fishing Thursday. It was a first for me. We caught a lot of "little" Bonitas (actually they were around 14 or ..15 inches..), and then David Jr. and Sr. both reeled in one Mahi Mahi each. They are BEAUTIFUL. They are BIG. They were both at least three or four feet long. I caught one of the Bonitas and then retired to the top of the boat where I drank a lot of beer and fell asleep in the sun. I burned quite nicely, especially my legs, and more specifically my knees. Ow!....

Besides all that, there has been a lot of bumming around in the sun. There was more going on at the beach today since it is Saturday. There was even a guy selling homemade ice cream cones! The only thing that would make it more perfect is if all my amigas were here to enjoy it with me. Miss you guys. Our time is almost up here. We are flying back on Tuesday, so I better finish soaking up the sun while I can.....