Next week marks our 7th wedding anniversary. This time of year always makes me think of our 1st anniversary. It was the hard one. Really, the whole first year was the hardest of our married life.
My mental state was not the best from the start. I was on birth control pills which made me, let's say, emotionally unpredictable. It also made me gain a lot of weight, which I had never experienced before, and I was NOT enjoying it. All of a sudden I no longer felt like myself, either in body, mind or even in name.
Three months later we were pregnant. Just like that. Turns out it is VERY important to take the pill at the same time every day (and actually take them everyday. They aren't kidding about that). Add to that bad job situations for the both of us, and we found ourselves in a miserable inferno neither of us had expected in our wildest dreams when we said "I do". He felt like he had married a stranger, not the person he'd known for the last three years. I was so angry, so upset most of the time. I felt abandoned because he was staying away from me more and more. We made it through summer and into fall, just barely holding on. Then September hit and bad went to worse.
I got really sick with preeclampsia and the only way to save my life was to take our baby out three months early. We found ourselves in a NICU, both of us watching our son struggle for every breath, not knowing if we would lose him or not. We lived in a limbo for the next couple months, living part time at home, part time with Derrin at the hospital. That is where our lives found us that first anniversary.
We ate dinner at Applebee's December 11th , barely able to afford even that. But it was the first time we really talked about how things were now, how we would rather them be, and how we could change them. I knew we would be okay after that talk.
That night I brought out an old wine jar I'd been saving , and we decided that we would always put our loose change and any dollars we could spare in it, so that we would always be able to afford to make our anniversary special. Seven years later, the wine bottle may not be as essential for making sure we can go somewhere and do something, but it does serve as a reminder throughout the year that we do have a special relationship that deserves to be celebrated.
My mental state was not the best from the start. I was on birth control pills which made me, let's say, emotionally unpredictable. It also made me gain a lot of weight, which I had never experienced before, and I was NOT enjoying it. All of a sudden I no longer felt like myself, either in body, mind or even in name.
Three months later we were pregnant. Just like that. Turns out it is VERY important to take the pill at the same time every day (and actually take them everyday. They aren't kidding about that). Add to that bad job situations for the both of us, and we found ourselves in a miserable inferno neither of us had expected in our wildest dreams when we said "I do". He felt like he had married a stranger, not the person he'd known for the last three years. I was so angry, so upset most of the time. I felt abandoned because he was staying away from me more and more. We made it through summer and into fall, just barely holding on. Then September hit and bad went to worse.
I got really sick with preeclampsia and the only way to save my life was to take our baby out three months early. We found ourselves in a NICU, both of us watching our son struggle for every breath, not knowing if we would lose him or not. We lived in a limbo for the next couple months, living part time at home, part time with Derrin at the hospital. That is where our lives found us that first anniversary.
We ate dinner at Applebee's December 11th , barely able to afford even that. But it was the first time we really talked about how things were now, how we would rather them be, and how we could change them. I knew we would be okay after that talk.
That night I brought out an old wine jar I'd been saving , and we decided that we would always put our loose change and any dollars we could spare in it, so that we would always be able to afford to make our anniversary special. Seven years later, the wine bottle may not be as essential for making sure we can go somewhere and do something, but it does serve as a reminder throughout the year that we do have a special relationship that deserves to be celebrated.
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