Pushing Buttons

For times when I am distracted or in my happy place, my kids have their own way of bringing me back to reality:

There is Kloe's method:

"Momma!"

"Yes?"

"I saw a squirrel and a birdie and I said hi to them."

"Mmmm."

"MOMMA."

"Mmmm?"

"I SAID I saw a squirrel and a birdie, and I said HIII to them".

"Mmmm."

"MOMMA!!!!!! I SAW A BIRDIE AND A SQUIRREL AND I SAID "HI BIRDIE AND SQUIRREL" AND THEY SAID "HI KLOE" AND WE ALL LAUGHED AND PLAYED AND DANCED...MOMMA,DID YOU HEAR ME? DID YOU HEAR ME????"

"Yes dear, you are adorable".

Satisfied silence.

Then there is Derrin's method:

"Hey MOM!"

"Mmmm?"

"Is that coffee in your cup?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Is it alcohol?"(expectant waiting, as he enjoys this particular button)

"What?!? NO, it's coffee!(practically hyperventalating with agitation) Why would I have alcohol??? For one thing, I am driving and for another, you don't drink alcohol for breakfast? Alcohol is tricky, you have to be careful with it! You should only drink at night and even then not too much and as for YOU, you are 6 and you don't drink at all!!!"

Satisfied Silence.