Thoughts

Some of the noise has cleared from my mind.  It really does help to write feelings, and reasons about feelings down.  I like to write them down and read them the next day to see if everything I wrote still feels true to me.  I like to read it again six months later to see if, after time has passed and I don't remember exactly what I was thinking or feeling, the words still ring true.  I like to read old stuff I've written (from a couple years ago) because I don't always remember even writing some things at all- it's fun to read old stuff as if a stranger had wrote it and then think 'do I like the person that wrote that and would I choose to hang out with that person'.  It's kind of an esteem booster (or a dose or reality) based on whatever the answer is to that question. 

I realize that my thoughts shape my reality.  Sometimes you have to acknowledge some of the darker thoughts and feelings.  And then you have to let them go again.  If you don't let go, you're allowing someone else to still control your reality, even when they aren't part of it anymore.

It always comes back to the whole 'Look to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you'.  Time to finish taking care of old business, put it in the safe, and close the door again.  There is way too much good to allow myself to block it with the bad.