Me, Myself, and I

This has been an interesting week so far. I've been kidless since Sunday afternoon and husbandless since Monday morning! The kids are having a great time in Thompson Falls. Kloe is staying with Stephanie and Aiyana, and Derrin is staying with Heidi and Colton. Steph signed both the kids up for swimming lessons, and they are LOVING it. Swimming lessons last for two weeks, so it looks like the kids will be back down there next week too (which I am sure breaks their hearts).

So, what have I been doing in the meantime? Weeelll, Monday was a weird mood day for me. I had a crazy downward swing that sort of hit me unexpectedly in the morning, and it lingered for about half the day. I was actually glad that my family wasn't around to have to deal with me. If I were to have a mood chart with crazy low at a 1 and crazy high at a 10, I would give that morning a 2. I managed to calm myself to go to work by 11, and being at work seemed to help. When I got home I worked on an art project for awhile (computer art with photos) which was very soothing, and then I forced myself to go on my 6.2 mile run. I ended up walking the final mile, but I felt WAY better at that point. Then I went to Finnegans (I was very amused with my choice of restaurant) to eat and use their WI-FI. The day ended on a good note.

Yesterday I had the day off to go to Mom's doctor appointment. We were worried about her stomach because she has been having a lot of pain, and we were getting results from a CAT scan she had received the week before. The scan didn't show anything going on in her stomach (cancer wise), but it did show a spot on her liver that wasn't there before. The report said that it was suspicious of cancer, but maybe it could just be a hematoma. The doctor said it was pointless to test it since operating wouldn't really be an option anyway since she has several tumors in her lungs. I can tell she is starting to feel scared now. I'm scared too, but it's like the feelings and thoughts that go along with my mom's sickness are blocked. I don't think I could function on a daily basis if I had to deal with those feelings. I pray a lot about it, for strength. Running helps a lot. We are trying to spend more time down in Plains and Thompson Falls too. All of the yard work is helping too:)

I did a lot of yard work after I left Mom and Dad. I lined the little pond in front of our house with new plastic, put rocks in, and filled it with water finally. It is a muddy pond, but I have given up on perfection out there a long time ago. I did a ton of weeding out there this morning, and hopefully Derrick will hook up my new little fishy spout to the water pump when he gets home. All that will be left after that is to get a couple new little goldfish to start their own little game of who will survive Rachel's pond this year:)

After all that yard work, I got all dolled up and went into town to eat with Shannon, and then we went to the Jewel concert. My honest feelings about Jewel are 1) She is a brilliant song writer. 2) She is a very funny performer and very good with interacting with the audience. 3) When she gets too dramatic in her Jewel fashion it actually makes me happy because it reminds me of the same slightly irritated feelings I had with that as a kid. She brings me right back to being sixteen again:) Anyways, I had a good night with Shannon.

And that brings me up to today. I ran my 6.2 this morning. That brings me to 12.4. Gonna run tomorrow (will be at 18.6), take Friday off and the Saturday is THE DAY. I am looking forward to it!!! BRING IT!!! Derrick will be home by the time I get off work and I am glad of it. Although I have enjoyed the last three days of me time, I wouldn't want it to always be just me. Waking up next to someone I love and hearing the voices of two more of my little loves in the living room is how I want my life to be.