And now the day is almost done...

We survived the funeral today.  It was a very hard one.  I don't think there was a dry eye in the whole building.  But,it was good to meet up and remember his life.

If nothing else has come out of losing so many people this year, it's been the reminder that life is so unpredictable.  I've always been pretty good about letting people I'm very close to know that I love them.  Life is teaching me this year that a person doesn't have to be a best friend or a family member to leave an empty place in my heart when they are gone.  I think I've needed to recognize that even though there may be different kinds and levels of love... that love is still love and I need to be better at nurturing it.  I hold back out of fear of... I don't know, maybe rejection, uncertainty, fear of spreading myself too thin....  I'm sure the list could go on and on.  The problem is that the only thing left over by holding back in fear is regret when you realize you've missed an opportunity to make a closer connection.

Another reminder from this year is that it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about us.  Several people whose opinions I highly valued, are gone (!), and any opinions they had of me went with them.  In the end, we are all alone, and what's left is between us and God.  Our integrity is all that matters.  Knowing that we did our best, that we carried our load, that we gave as much love as we could- those are the things that we will be left with. 

We all were pretty wore out after the funeral and reception.  We came home for a bit to change our clothes, and then we surprised the kids and took them to the new move "Tangled" to try to lighten things up a bit, and have some happy times together.  It was really good!  Kloe and I laughed our heads off.  It reminded me of the Disney classics I was raised on, like Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, only the characters were better.  Anyways, we had a really good time.

So for now, the goals are to keep taking steps forward, keep reaching out and back to people, and to keep looking to the light and letting the shadows fall behind.