My Man

Right now I am sitting in beautiful silence, in front of a fireplace and surrounded by tall windows looking out over heaps of snow and hundreds of frosty trees.  Derrick is still in bed. I was planning on sleeping in for a long time today too, but it was just too tempting to creep downstairs and soak in the stillness. 

I love it up at  Big Mountain (I guess it's called Whitefish Ski Resort now).  We aren't even going to ski until tomorrow.  Having this place all to ourselves it too good leave it, for whatever reason.

Derrick just came down a little bit ago.  It's December 11th!  Eleven years ago today we were married, for better or worse.  I still can't believe that I was blessed with this person in my life.  He is everything that a man should be- strong, caring, sticks to his guns, does the best he can in every situation.  As a partner he has been so supportive and forgiving, willing to listen and work on himself and our relationship, to fight for our relationship during the hard times. He cares for people, and is willing to fight for anyone who he loves.

He has raised the bar for me, both in what I expect in myself and what I expect from men in general.  Having known a man like him, I find very little patience for other men I've known, who sit around and let the women do all of the emotional heavy work, or who refuse to carry their own weight in life.

I've witnessed Derrick's life for a long time- I've known him fourteen years now.  I've seen him as a young man, married and with a baby, trying to figure out how in the world to make ends meet.  I've seen him work for a rotten employer who treated him bad enought that he was willing to make a leap of faith (with his father) and start his own business.  For the last ten years I've watched him run that business, putting himself out there in a way that would scare me to death.  He does it all for us, for his family and the people he loves.

This has been an especially difficult year.  I've had to acknowledge some difficult facts about myself.  Derrick was there, holding the mirror for me, but also pointing out the good stuff in there in case I couldn't see it anymore.  He was there during the darkest hour of my life, he held me and let me cry more times than I can say.  He was my rock, my safe place, the place I could run to when I couldn't take how heavy the gravity of life had become.  He lets me keep living this moment to moment emotional life I have right now, riding the waves of sadness, but not letting me drown in it- and helping me recognise the happiness and love that we have in our life together.

He has been there for me in a million ways.  I am a very blessed woman, and he is right at the top of my blessings.